I’ve cheated on my girlfriend numerous times now , I am such an idiot cause she means everything to me but for some reason I keep on hurting her . She doesn’t know I’ve cheated but I must stop as it’s not fair on her . She deserves so much more . I love her more than anything ! Also we argue a lot and she crys cause I say and do some nasty things ! Why am I such a prick . I am 29 years old , I hope from this day forth I put her first , never cheat , never hurt her ! I want her to be my future wife and was going to ask her on Christmas day to marry me , I have bought an engagement ring ! But at this moment in time I feel that guilty for the horrible things I have done that I am considering not asking her cause I don’t deserve her love forever! Please God help me to have the will power to do the decent thing and treat her like she deserves, with lots and love and affection . Also God please help me with my temptation with other girls , especially when I have had a drink ! She is my everything and I just wish I could show it instead of being the way I am ????