I feel so ugly.
I have been told I should go into modeling.
I have been told I am a wonderful person. I’ve apparently got it all; brains, looks, substance. Something special.
But my boyfriend… He says I don’t have to, because it’s my choice, but he’d like it if I shaved my pubic hair, and basically, at the core, look like a p**** actress. He wants me to style my hair. It’s small, right (except for looking like a p**** actress–make up and all)? Nothing big. He consistently tells me that regardless of what I do, he still wants me. He’s the most gorgeous person in the world to me.
But I still feel ugly, because it’s like… You want me to change my appearance… I am unsatisfactory? I am… ugly, in that aspect?
I know I am overreacting. And it’s just silly hormones. But that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt like a two-by-four to the heart when these “hormones” hit.
I exercise. I am fit, but not overly muscular. I want to look good. But I just don’t “feel” good, y’know? It’s strange.
I want to be perfectly flawless, without the work, so that I can do more–waste less time trying to resemble an imitation “Roman” statue of Aphrodite.
I needed to get this off my chest. I don’t want to bother my loved ones. Thanks for reading, I guess?
I’m still in high school. I should just relax. Huh.