My girlfriend makes better chicken from oven than I do.

I was smoking pot in my room when I suddenly felt the urge to poop. I don’t want my landlords to know i do pot, so I located this empty bottle with the big lid in the trash, thinking my turd would fit in well. So I grab it, pull...

3 years ago i had an experience that i never told anybody about. It was 2 month exactly before my 16th birthday when i stayed over at my friend Cassie’s house. I was 15 and had been fantasizing about her dad who i had a secret crush on. This had...

I keep having unprotected s** with randoms
I’m a female, and I live c**. I used to m********* to the idea of gangbangs and being impregnated. The problem is when I started college last year I started acting on it. It started where I’d use a condom and just...

bang for your buck

how about a

fang for your f***????

LOL

vampire joke!!! 🙂

I slept with someone famous… and he cheated on his girlfriend with me. I’m six months pregnant and I just can’t tell him because I don’t want the rejection.

AVOCADO ICE-CREAM

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups avocado puree (see Tip), from about 3 ripe large avocados
1 1/2 cups water
1 1/3 cups sugar
1/4 cup lime juice
1/3 cup tequila
Lime zest for garnish

Preparation
1.After making avocado puree, add water,...

GERMAN AS OPPOSTED TO ISREALI WOULD BE A LOT LOT LOT MORE ACURATE ???? HMMM ???? CUT YA CRAP JAN!!!!!!!!!

I HOPE YOUR NOT ANGRY OR ANYTHING lllllliiiikkkkke that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU COULD BE STIFF!!!

OOOOOOOOOH I HAVE ENJOYED MAKING DON JOHNSON AND LITTLE SATANIC ROB LOOK LIKE AN A******* OF THE HIGHEST ELK… OOOOOOOOOHHHHH YEH MATE!!!!

HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAAAAAA!

OLD DRAG QUEEN AT THE LIBRARY

where I live some strange men get around. there was a man who used to get the bus who always had a sweet candy pink girly clutch handbag with him that everyone laughed at him his only friend was this four eyed old dark...

I like rainy days, and so do I!

I had g****** with a Friend of Mine when I was 14. i sucked his c*** multiple Times.
I only J******* to t***** p***

reverse dating scene is so popular

I hated the sight of this fat b****** so I went out with him. he is 70 drives a nice car, and I guess that should be all that matters, but I am so shallow I wanted someone my own age! I am...

pass this challenge on and change the world

THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME AND I THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT…

ask all your friends around you to see them getting everything you want for yourself and when they are ready to cut...

this one time i got really drunk and i left my friend in the canyon with her boyfriend and i walked into her house and broke in through her balcony and since i had lost my socks, i stole hers, this happened two years ago and she still doesn’t know

instagram: @shitiputonmytits #shitonmytits

There’s a guy and m with him from last three years . He loves me and even i love him a lot but i feel that he’s not for me as there’s no understanding between us . I had asked him to get married but he didnt show any interest,...

My boyfriend Cameron introduced me to a sort of b****** s**. I only see him twice a week and although I consider him my boyfriend we do have an open relationship. I know he dates another girl but I also date a guy who is married a few times a...

Ok I Have a confession that only 4 people know about. But I have to spill it somewhere,
So I won’t use real names to protect everyone . But here it is I (James) have been secretly
having s** with my little sister (April) for some time. It...

I fingered my best friend and she fingered me aswell

there is a higher level of i***** then many people are aware. in most tribal cultures it is very normal and when you read some of things on i***** in ancient cultures such as Egypt etc it was a necessity for bloodlines and very common in royal circles. even today...

during my teen years most times I enjoy making vintage Christmas streamers and tree decorations in the evenings before the holiday session on the floor with my cats, with a few cups of tea.

real serious freak! or what!??!

hahahahahhahahhaha ha!!!!

I am a 20 year old male. 6″ even, and rather well-endowed where it counts. My girlfriend of 2 years is 18 and is also endowed in her chest. She is an amazing girl and I love her to death. Her single mom had her when she was still 16...

Some oil spilled while I was cooking. It wasn’t a big deal, these things happen. But after I’d turned the stove off, as I was going to get a mop, I notice a single, greasy footprint in the middle of my kitchen floor. It was much bigger than mine.

you might think that he is out of my reach but not so. I met him in a nasty situation on the streets yeh, but I just want to say one thing. I do want to f*** him and a meaningful f*** at that. I am silent because I know...

When I was in my twenties, there was a guy I worked with who was gay and had a crush on me. He flirted with me shamelessly and made me very uncomfortable. I tried to be nice and always turned his advances down politely. One evening he tried flirting with...

I was in the shower. I haven’t had s** for two weeks. I start touching my t*** and my p****,finally I masturbated really hard. It was so good. While I was m***********, I was thinking about a friend of mine. I was thinking licking her p****, her huge breast. I...

I just got high and now I’m about to give a fat girl a r*****. PEACE

I take photos of myself naked and keep a stash of them. I want to share them all with a guy I’ve secretly deeply loved for the past 3 years.

its so essential to be able to turn bi-pola and psycho, manic and then sickly sweet at the drop of a hat for survival…

I often stay up at night to listen to dead silence. it helps me deal with whatever is bothering me, if I just stay still and the silence.

I learnt the phrase be still and know the hard way.

I mean I could easily not move from this...

I have a confession, one time when I was about 20 or 21 I had 11 orgasms almost standing on my head while m*********** in my room… would you really believe that? if I told you, it was true!

at least I know I am not alone in this nightmare.

i masturbated at work when no one was there and had an O*****!

I knew my present sister-in-law and dated her several times before marrying her sister, my present wife. Though I went out with my wife’s sister several times, I never had s** with her. I tried, but she was very prudish and never would. Twenty years later I meet my sister-in-law...

I liked a guy like that too..popular, sweet, cute, but athletic. We texted too, and finally told him over text how I feel, because I think of Taylor Swift as like, the Godess of love. One of the things I learned form her music is that if you so...

always so worried about this American guy that he would suicide because he was always taking incredible risks. he would walk in the middle of heavy traffic in the city at night and would drive feral like on a speed way. there was something strange about him.

now I don’t...

I think I must have been born in the wrong time as I like futurism and the past but hate the now in some ways. I wish I could take a love with me to there and back.

the absolute lies my sister has spread about me. the compulsive liar that Diana was and all those people who abused me. they must be mentally disturbed. it will come back to them. gnawsa