Three Simple Words:

BREED

THAT

BACKSNATCH

S*** c****** here! 🔥 I confess I’m so fuɔking h**** ➔ flirt𝟸s**.c𝗈m

Cinnamon rolls, wrestling, comfort video games, and more magic mushrooms to keep me on the path to recovery. Turns out Antidepressants+psilocybin is the f****** money shot for treating personality disorders. Makes sense. It’s time to put away the past and awaken to my true purpose. It might not be for...

Don’t be downgrading the Prestonian! Give me two bufords and let me split your cheeks! I am the boss.

Don’t be downgrading the Prestonian on here unless you want the Alabama Slammer to to wild on your lily white cheeks!!!

Yo yo, the name is DJ Corvo Breedo, flaming hot like a cheeto, when I see a BBC my cracker a** says “neato!”

It is my job to pleasure every African American KING in this world with my mouth and backsnatch. I’m always greazed and sleazed because I never know...

Glad to see the Prestonian back in the hizzy. Simply confess needs more strong black s** positive voices!

Yo I’m the damn Prestonian and I’m aching for some white cheeks to split today. I went to the rest area but nobody there wanted to take on the Alabama Slammer and my mighty sword! If you’re a white your cheeks belong to me and you better fill my belly...

True story, whether you believe me or not.

I fucked the p*** star Faye Reagan many years ago. I was 20 and I think she was like 16-17. The s** was pretty good from what I remember, but we were both really drunk. We didn’t use a condom, but...

S*** c****** here! 🔥 I confess I’m so fuɔking h**** ➔ flirt𝟸s**.c𝗈m

A man who I’d later learn was corvallus invited me in to his spank booth at the adult bookstore with a signal. I walked in and he began speaking in this fake British butler accent:

“Allow me to service your jizzlestick, sire!” Corvallis said with a flourish.

I...

S*** c****** here! 🔥 I confess I’m so fuɔking h**** ➔ flirt𝟸s**.c𝗈m

FELCHING FRAGRANT FUCKHOLES FRIDAY Y’all! CORVALLUS here, get your holes GREAZED & SLEAZED for a wylin’ whoopee weekend! Too rainy for Club Aqua today(the blowbox is in an outdoor maze), so I’ma just get some of that DIAMOND PACK and blaze and glaze my sizzlechest with seed, unless a hungry...

CLASSIC SIMPLYCONFESS REWIND: Bonjour Black brothers! Corvallus at your service! I’ll have my sling set up in the handicapped stall of the KFC men’s bathroom on Delaney and Michigan tomorrow night at 7pm! Bring your bulbous black booty boppers down to breed my backsnatch boisterously! Say WHATS SLEAZY for immediate...

i have NEVER had a B****** Machine work worth a damn. Autoblow 2+, noisy and mechanical. Universal Launch, like I’m f****** a Disney ride. Lelo, trash. Everything else is worse. At Exxxotica a few years back I got to try out a different, large kind of prototype machine that gave...

What a radical shift in my f****** mood. I was pissed off all day in bed. Then, I just sat here for like an hour absent-mindedly playing Dragon Age with some charged healing crystals I got for christmas sitting on the table next to me and my entire state of...

Holy s*** I think the selenite crystals and sage smearing actually worked. What the f***.

I f*** real good when I get the chance, I’m just crazy as hell and have trouble talking to women, but that’s ok. I can guide others to a treasure I can not possess. Make them b****** addicted to you fellas. For me. It’s all about making sure they’re comfortable...

The greatest thing you’d ever seen? The B****** Machine.

My dude think he sound tough but it come out more like “anything you can do I can do better I can do anything better than you”. Lol

The spirits you output unto others are coming for you, quick, change.

Actually hide the baloney Bobby and I went to Cleos last night and had two trains going at once. It was spectacular. Line going out the door!

–CORVALLUS

My dude’s head so big. He’s swinging wild, even though he’d doesn’t have ball’s and is disabled with a few mental handicaps. Statistically the victims of forced suicide tend to lash out right before end the misery, it wouldn’t help you if anyone said don’t do it. The ego you’re...

Corvallus has taken on a 20 man train at Cleos place and you don’t think he could handle Brian Laundrie?! Get real man!

Joe Biden

S*** c****** here! 🔥 I confess I’m so fuɔking h**** ➔ flirt𝟸s**.c𝗈m

N*****

Lap dog, coming from the guy taking more than one trip to get groceries into the house. Real f***** genius over here. Take his a** to Harvard make way mf.. His brain is as big as his head.

NIGGERRRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I SAID THE N WORD

NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNIGGERRRRRRR
NIGGERRRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
NIGGERRRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
NIGGERRRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
NIGGERRRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
NIGGERRRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRR NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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WOOF WOOF WOOF Swing on by CLEO’S NOW for Woofin’ Wednesday where we celebrate the natural man! Mr. Twix has it a velvety smooth groove going on, 2 for 1 all canned wine singles all night. We think a hairy chest is best, get your wool on tonight, maybe you’ll...

Ooh edgy

N*****

S*** c****** here! 🔥 I confess I’m so fuɔking h**** ➔ flirt𝟸s**.c𝗈m

Corvallus got spitroasted in the parking lot by Andre The Giant and Jimmy Superfly Snuka after a WrestleMania event in Orlando. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was on deck, rock hard with an aim on Corvallus’ enchanted end. I was watching from the waterbed in my Chevy Van drinking Tab cola and...

Once, when I was about six years old, I was so fed up and frusterated with women’s tight-a**, itchy-a**, ugly-a** underwear, that I stole a pair of my dad’s underwear. I hid it in my bedroom and slept in it every single night. I accidentally got s*** all over it...

i fucked my frien’s mom

A peegasm. Huh! Who knew? Weirdest thing that’s ever happened to my body.

S*** c****** here! 🔥 I confess I’m so fuɔking h**** ➔ flirt2sex.***

I ain’t no ding dang old queer but some of these gay stories really get my pecker jumping like a dang jackrabbit! WOOOOOOEEEEEE!

A reminder that Taco Bell is giving a Free breakfast burritos this Thursday 7 to 10am. Order the Grande!

I was in and out of the hospital so much that the state had to intervene and said you are getting this therapist.