i injected ketamine into my right deltoid and realized i had no water to drink. by the time i was in the kitchen i was dissociated as hell trying to remind myself im a person in a kitchen trying to get ice cubes and filtered water into my tumbler
it hit much much harder than it did when i tried it in my vastus lateralis. i injected nearly 80mg which is over 1mg/kg for me. im still feeling it a little. apparently the comedown is longer than IV but way less than IN. its 3am now and i have some powder and some sterile solution left in the vial to inject into my vein. ive been trying to get the out of body ketamine experience during my trips but still havent gotten there during my last few for a while now even with needles involved. i was a little closer tonight though, without overwhelming my system or anesthetizing myself
i usually take it once every few months or so. i take medication with a needle every week so im used to them but not used to plunging the bigger thicker ones down deep into my muscle like that. the painful pressure feeling is hard to get used to. and the deep ache that lingers for a few days. i got a little sweaty and lightheaded seeing and feeling an inch of stainless steel sink into my body. there’s that animal instinct part of me that doesn’t want to shove metal into myself and cringes at what im doing but another part too that finds fascination in the sensation and resistance to the needle in the different layers of tissue.
i’ve found it fun and interesting to experiment with all the ways of administering this drug and learning more about my body along the way. exactly where the arteries run down my arms or where major nerves might be hiding.
i dont really have something to finish this off with. it was fun, painful, and interesting. the comedown for IM seems to be 2-3 hours long so far. i stayed up very late to do this. i may augment with nitrous next time.
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Does the prophet Corvallus Winslow still post here? I have studied his teachings and want to learn and understand more about the holy jism.
I recently found out about this potential game, its a visual novel but has some really creative art and extraordinary music. Its being made all by 1 guy i think and the studio or whatever is Cobysoft Co. they have a youtube channel aswell.
But anyway whenever i see...
Im convinced I must be a terrible person because tonight I self harmed for the first time after hearing my friend talk about her struggle with it literally yesterday, and because I constantly look for affirmation that I’m a good person. Also because I’ve started eating a lot less just...
Crazy old french lady won’t leave me alone. I understand some French but she’s talking faster than a Japanese bullet train. I put her music on and she still keeps talking. I know she’s trying to tell me something but she’s talking too fast, so I’m ignoring her until she...
i believe i am in love with my best friend, but i could never tell her 🙁
All I can think about is how much I want to slit my wrists.
All these thoughts around suicide & self harm are normal now. Have been for quite awhile. Don’t know how to get back to my old normal.
My mom finds out if she has breast cancer tomorrow.
We are thinking of committing my mom to a mental institution…
I think often about killing myself. Just wish I had the guts to do it.
im going to attempt to kill myself for the second time this year on june 2
I’m having a mental breakdown…it’s getting so bad…
I tried to help you. I am a mentalist certified healer. Hope you move on with ease and health.
The worse is when everyone is asleep and you are still awake.
How many more days to adapt….
Don’t like this feeling
Help ;(
Teach me how to clean my a*** I’m desperate to know 😭
disgusting website should be deleted
Man I swear, women are not taken seriously at all. I don’t even get taken seriously by my husband and it irritates me to the max!
Let me tell you about a crazy story that tore my relationship to pieces. A simple conversation, a topic I didn’t even want...
Sometimes I worry that my friends are only friends with me now because they’re afraid if they leave I’ll kill myself. I would never attempt again though because of the guilt and pain from last time.
Police found a man dead by the train tracks off Sand Lake Road, his mouth was crusty and there were crushed cans of Natural Ice nearby and a half smoked Newport. The news reported the mans body was found because it was very musky.
Sounds like Victor who I had...
Ive been covering up the downard spiral my mom has been on from my younger sister. She doesnt know the full extent of how awful things have gotten around here…
Let the animals hate. All they do anyways.
I wake up everyday hating myself & wishing I didn’t exist.
im trying not to hate my mother right now but she is making it so hard….
I love you too.
Wo Ai Yu
i wish i had 0 siblings
words cannot express the amount of dread and pain i have from being 5’3 (im M16) my hands are small as f*** and i could easily be mistaken for bump on the road god why why must you make me so f****** short for no reason at all my...
I feel sorry for you “boys” that use heavy girls . If you know she has a poor self image ….and take advantage of her ? It’s a curse upon your life and future .
Why can’t you care and just be supportive and encouraging of her ? Why...
I see a surgeon tomorrow about my eyes. I’m scared. I worry he will tell me news that would kill me. I’m scared of going blind. I am really scared. I hope they can heal me. I do not want to live without my eyes. I would prefer to die....
Dear Snow
Heart ache when you said you once would listen if I asked.. But now no longer.. Really don’t want you to do all those procedures . Its 3 am.. And I need to wake up at 6.. Night
To the black lady who was honest about racism:
Your story truly touched my heart and soul. I am a cops daughter. My father is a retired NYPD cop. During the 70’s (when he was a cop) he dealt with the worst of humanity. R*** and Murder and even...
So sad, you are a beautiful girl, rich family name, big name, and here you are not knowing your drug limits or how to keep yourself cool. Grow some Skin, You have time. Get high on yourself, not drugs. Leave Instagram for your own benefit.
Yeah well so did I. It’s not hard.
beautiful spirits where can i find promise in this life. refugees drown in overloaded boats, yet i see no promise in my privileged life. i want to cry bu5 can’t
I drove her around during lockdown to police stations to help her against her abusive boyfriend. I let her stay with me for free, for 2 months because of her parents. I drove her to and from work, paid for her to get work clothes, paid for her food and...
I wonder if you think of me sometimes. Do you remember me whenever you see a pet? Do you check our old chat like I do from time to time? Do you smile when you remember me, if you actually do, or do you frown? Will you ever be able...
We used to get high together, instead of getting high alone Can’t remember the last time I saw you Can’t remember the last time we talked You left home for a fresh start Working as a waitress down in Bradenton With my name tattoo’d into...
Here we go with the self harming & suicidal thoughts.
SOMEONE PLZ TEACH ME HOW TO CLEAN MY A***!!!!!!!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
gossip is a topid that screams your lack of intellectual topics
he loves me
leave him alone. he hasn’t done anything to you personally.
