i still wear your shirts. i keep a dossier on you now and have been counting down the days to your birthday. i think about you constantly everyday. i started doing ketamine again and injected myself with it for the very first time recently. i stuck it in my right cephalic vein and my vastus lateralis on my right leg. i havent told anybody because shooting up is one of the last things i ever thought id do but found myself wishing i could tell you. i still have this desire for you to be the one to know all my secrets even though we’ll never speak again. i still can’t think about anyone touching me but you
this year is a nightmare.
Im straight, might be bi. I have or@l buddy. We do 68+1 and consume the load.
i injected ketamine into my right deltoid and realized i had no water to drink. by the time i was in the kitchen i was dissociated as hell trying to remind myself im a person in a kitchen trying to get ice cubes and filtered water into my tumbler
it hit much much harder than it did when i tried it in my vastus lateralis. i injected nearly 80mg which is over 1mg/kg for me. im still feeling it a little. apparently the comedown is longer than IV but way less than IN. its 3am now and i have some powder and some sterile solution left in the vial to inject into my vein. ive been trying to get the out of body ketamine experience during my trips but still havent gotten there during my last few for a while now even with needles involved. i was a little closer tonight though, without overwhelming my system or anesthetizing myself
i usually take it once every few months or so. i take medication with a needle every week so im used to them but not used to plunging the bigger thicker ones down deep into my muscle like that. the painful pressure feeling is hard to get used to. and the deep ache that lingers for a few days. i got a little sweaty and lightheaded seeing and feeling an inch of stainless steel sink into my body. there’s that animal instinct part of me that doesn’t want to shove metal into myself and cringes at what im doing but another part too that finds fascination in the sensation and resistance to the needle in the different layers of tissue.
i’ve found it fun and interesting to experiment with all the ways of administering this drug and learning more about my body along the way. exactly where the arteries run down my arms or where major nerves might be hiding.
i dont really have something to finish this off with. it was fun, painful, and interesting. the comedown for IM seems to be 2-3 hours long so far. i stayed up very late to do this. i may augment with nitrous next time.
-108
i truly love to read but i also truly love making *her* feel inferior when i talk about how many books i’ve read and what i’ve read this year
I masturbated and I used mind projection and I was selfish hipocrytical prideful arrogant tyrannical devisive feminine oversexed disgusting pathetic unloving unforgiving insensitive irresponsible ungodly unmerciful disrespectful impatient I neglected to share my faith recently I was unprofessional lazy immature manipulative self rightous and I used profanity
I want to disappear
My best friend confessed she had a crush on me when I was 13, and I was still homophobic so I didn’t know any better and I essentially said “uh no we’re obviously friends”(kinda rudely). Now 5 years later I’ve got the biggest crush on her but, now she has...
He was 18 and I was a ten year old boy. He told me he was going to teach me the facts of life but he had his way with me instead. I was so confused about what happened I never told anyone. That was 46 years ago and I’m...
I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life, and I’ve realized I must repent. Things I wish I could take back and never think about again. I’ve lied, stolen, cheated, committed s******* immoral acts and broken the trust of the ones closest to me. I ask God to...
I am a black woman and I don’t like black men. I am saying this from a place of truth and sadness. This may sound harsh, but black men scare, repulse, and anger me. I am not saying this to make anyone angry, that is truly how I feel whenever...
I catfished as my now girlfriend on a dating site and got off to it
The internet made me believe self harm was a good thing. I believed this so much that i reccomended others self harm. I havent told anyone this, but I’m responsible for my friends cutting addiction. Its my fault.
I posted my ex girlfriend’s mom grave because her and her friend said they hope i get raped in jail. She knew I’ve gotten raped before and let her friend say that. They both pretended to not know what it meant. She also was defending him.
I’m still in love...
Today I stole two books. I feel really bad but I also don’t. I just hope this feeling of wanting to steal things doesn’t stay any longer than it should.
Look. You’ll never see this. That’s fine. This is for me, not for you. I never wanted to talk to you; it was creepy, when you searched through everyone with my first name in our school to find me after a few online classes where we never even spoke. It...
I’m engaged to a wonderful girl, but I keep pushing off the wedding because I can’t guarantee that due to my bad debt that I won’t kill myself.
I’ve intentionally had impure thoughts and I’m tempted to m*********
You are always “angry hipocrytical prideful arrogant tyrannical impatient defensive argumentative disrespectful selfish……”.
You have some real personality defects!
I was angry hipocrytical prideful arrogant tyrannical impatient defensive argumentative disrespectful selfish ungodly unloving unmerciful unforgiving irresponsible lazy I passed judgement against others I complained had worldly sorrow resentment I purposely offended God and others I was self rightous I overreacted I was immature and I had a martyr like...
We’re sorry, Mohammad Bitar is no longer available at this location.
I need Mohammad Bitar to remove my posts about Perry Kalynuk. It’s time for me to move on and get help for healing the past. Please Mohammad, remove my posts.
We’re losing the house and I don’t know how to tell anyone.
I tried ending myself by overdosing on sleeping pills, I wrote my last letter to my family, and my friends, I still have the letter, I couldn’t do it because whenever I see them smile at me, I feel guilty.
I masturbated and I used mind projection indicating to women that I know that I’m a sissy boy who likes women to give me s******* dildos up my b******* while I wear women’s clothing engage in homosexual activities and I made s******* submissive facial expressions and noises and I was...
I live with my gf and her sister. I used the p****** of my gf’s sister to w***.
I have a nasty secret and Kellie knows it. Text Kellie and tell her to see this post. 1-812-484-7263. Kellie is a hot f***. A m*** grandmother who will f*** young guys. Text Kellie and tell her to see this and comment. Kellie I really f*** her and yes it’s...
I wish so dearly I hadn’t told my best friend I loved her. I took a what was once a wonderful, wonderful friendship and just… Ruined it, made it an okay friendship, one that you can have with anyone. I just was so f****** full of myself, I was certain...
All my neighbors and church and school parents are dead. Hemphill, jones, Eliot, motin, Neal, McCarty, Simmons, Taylor, stephens, metlick, gates…everyone who is my witness everyone who was close had died. I have no proof.
I want to quit drinking. But the job and the stress just make it so hard not to.
I was angry and disrespectful to my girlfriend and in general and I was impatient prideful tyrannical devisive defensive argumentative I overreacted had worldly sorrow resentment I complained passed judgement against others I was unloving unmerciful unforgiving irresponsible ungodly immature pathetic goofy selfish hipocrytical self rightous I had a martyr...
I unintentionally fell for my fiances sister. She’s been staying at our house for almost a year now. Shes 19 and I’m 28. Nobody ever thought we would become this close but when you drink and smoke and talk for hours week after week with somebody, it’s hard not to...
im cringing so hard rn because i rember when i did smth wrong and then i was being suicidal during it and i wish i could tell my past self to stfu omg like..
Is it wrong to cuck a woman in revenge? Because if it’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
I reached under a girl’s skirt while I was in a crowd. I heard her gasp when I squeezed her a**. She might have seen me, but I just kept walking. No idea who she was.
I never want to get a job again. I hate having a job so much, and every time I get one I almost end up killing myself. I don’t want to have to do this.
I love my boyfriend. I love him so much that I listen to him complain every day about things he could totally fix. I get him things and help him clean and take care of his dogs and he helps me, gets me things and wakes me up in the...
My ex nagged me into doing gross things with them until I told them yes even when I told them several times that I didn’t want to do it with them before hand. I feel gross and Im pretty sure I have Hypersexuality because of it.
I just got caught staring at my friends crotch and I feel so bad
Sorry for relating to getaway car and afterglow. And sorry for leaving you last august when all you want to do was happily discuss the meaning of the song.
My friends did a terrible thing to a 9 year old girl but I helped in the process. I recently created a virus with some friend that would completely destroy a pc and make it unusable but we would usually only get terrible people to download it. But recently my...
I was raped by my 20 year old cousin when i was 13 and got pregnant by him. i gave birth at 14 and it was painful, I didn’t want to tell anyone because i thought that people would think it’s my fault. After giving birth to my daughter, she...
I was angry at my girlfriend and I was disrespectful impatient prideful arrogant tyrannical devisive goofy unloving unforgiving insensitive irresponsible ungodly unmerciful lazy immature pathetic I complained passed judgement against others I overreacted I was immature afraid faithless decietful hipocrytical selfish worried paranoid stubborn argumentative self rightous and I had...