Lofty get my nailgun, today were gonna staple this contractor to his drywall for trying to sell us cracked drywall sheets.
Crucify dis niga

-Bob The Builder

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m a feminine male. While I’m only attracted to women, I have a strong female living inside. I make her happy by wearing beautiful lingerie.

Meet local girls in your area > 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌𝐄.𝐂𝐎𝐌

an f in english?
bobby you speak english!!

Hank Hill aka King of the Hill

Poke poke niggga I got chu

Mr Knife 🔪

I feel ungrateful for the birthday present my mum gave me. She told me to check my bank account and since it was my 40th she put more than usual in there for me. It was £200. I was expecting £1,000 when she built it like that. I could do...

I’m just gonna hurt you real good😈

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
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On your knees soldier,
the way to a promotion is getting my rifle up your p*********!

Military Morrison 🪖

I was reading in the news today about a Dutch woman called Milou Verhoof who went to a euthanasia clinic because she was se~xually assaulted. When I saw her photo and how beautiful she was, I thought to myself ‘no wonder she got assaulted, she’s just so beautiful. I want...

My name is Frank Bisignano and I inflate my own Wikipedia article full of fake BS under the username MrPeggyCat during working hours LOL. Meanwhile I forgot to mention the JPMC spying scandal that got me kicked to the curb. 😳

I was at a party with my bf and he was being a you know what hole and he was hanging out with his friends and I isn’t relly no anybody then this cute guy started talking to me and we ended up hooking up and he finished inside me...

Do you mind….
if we forego the whole creepy serial killer thing?

Eddie Brock/ Venom 3

Damn right im gonna rev my chainsaw in your fucken ear Nico🗣business gets personal when you fuc with bob

-Bob The Builder

im 15 and i just vaped for the first time. i did it to look cool in front of someone, and now i feel like i need more. i keep looking at the device i hit and seeing all the flavors. it looks so good and i feel like i...

Many many years ago I had a girlfriend she wanted to watch me bang her daughter when she would come visit during the summer. This was almost a daily thing, thank god camera phones didn’t exist then. The girl liked it, so much she wanted me to sleep in her...

yeah assshole, don’t flush the toilet you fatasz American slob.
Knew that would be too hard for your peanut sized American brainn

-Jeeves the creepy Janitor.

Whenever dad spends the night out — mommy put a hamster poop in his chewing tobacco.

-sheldon cooper aka Big bang theory

ive been wanting to tell someone, anyone about this. i was at school at the time of this and i was in religion class. me and my friend decided to draw on our desks. and after we leave class our relgion teacher finds out we drew. so the next day...

People do many bad things. But I can assure you what you have done is not as bad as me. Starting when I was 13 and going until age 14 I tortured animals. My family raised dozens of quail and when nobody was watching I did the unspeakable. I tortured...

Meet local girls in your area > 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌𝐄.𝐂𝐎𝐌

they told me I have a condition.🤡
can you believe that?🤡
Me? A condition🤡

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

Eyes! Lungs! Pancreas!
So many snacks, so little time!

Eddie Brock/Venom 3

Could you imagine cleaning the home depot toilets?
that nightmare is my fucken life.

-Jeeves the creepy Janitor.

Never wound
what you
can’t kill

Eddie Brock/Venom

Come sit on my lap b*tch.
After that last drink I fell down and sh*t outta my azz all over my suit.
And your Easter photo is gonna have my massive b0ner in it.
Do you think complaining to mall management can make my life any worse?...

from Düsseldorf to Bethlehem ill ride your son Nico like a harley davidson

-farid bang

Fucka niggga up the a**

Beef tank from cell block 6

Oops I accidentally touched your mothers titt during the Easter family photo, are those Ds?

Mall Easter Bunny FML, previously Mall Santa Claus

If your son drops an egg
I’ll drop you 👀

Evil Easter Bunny 🐰

Is that your blood on my Easter egg?
🐣 🗿 🐰 🐣 🗿 🐰 🐣 🗿 🐰

Evil Easter Bunny 🐰

I am a girl,and was finially baptized at age 15 during sunday mass along with another girl who was 14.We both were dressed in the traditional,all white,’babygirl’type baptism outfits that consisted of the white,poofy,short sleeve,above the knees,baptism dresses with the matching bonnet,lace anklets and white maryjane shoes and under our...

ITS ST PATRICK’S DAY 2026
How many Irishman are gonna get arrested for public intoxication today?

Irish Alcoholic Assholes

Mercedes G Wagon at Yonge and Bloor st.

Carspotter416

Dont touch what you cant afford mister

-Harley Quintesson

I didn’t win an Oscar award and I have to deal with shity fucken kids and put on a fake smile every day.

Evil Easter Bunny

im going to keep this easter photo of your family and chew on it a bit every day.

-Evil Easter Bunny 🐰

Cocaine and Irish whiskey keeps me drunk as a skunk hoe.
So drunk I might fuc around and start a bar fight.

-Irish Alcoholic assholes.

Let’s see what cracks First.
An egg or your skull 🥚💀.

-Evil Easter Bunny.

After an accident I spent a year in recovery. During that year I had a therapist come to both work my muscles and to help me stand again and walk. He was a Mexican man named Rodrigo. Rodrigo also gave me hand jobs, because I needed them.

yeah assshole, don’t flush the toilet you fatasz American slob.

-Jeeves the creepy Janitor.