Another Holiday from Hell has come and pass with plenty of Fireworks as all of my family, friends, co-workers, and a few uninvited celebrities showed up for one Hell of a Cookout.

Jim and Jerry would argue over grilling the Hamburgers as they got into a shouting match with Jerry flipping his s*** over his burgers and Jim calling Jerry a whiny b**** after Jerry flipped over a table full of condiments and Jim yelled at Jerry, Jerry yelled back and the tow exchanged fists and started fighting al lover the yard where their father tried to seperate them yelling at them both to stop The Goddamn Fighting.

Then my daughter Jennifer and Niece Kimberly got into an argument over a boy named Jason as they started throwing food at eacohther and then came the hair pulling and the b**** slaps as both Jennifer and Kimberly engaged in a cat fight on top of the table getting themselves covered in ketchup, mustard, and some of the other food that was being served at the cookout.

Not to be outdone Jim and Jerry also fought on My Boss’s Table as they were fighting ith his food and he looked upset as he tried to seperate them until the next thing I heard was….”OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!”

Here come George wearing Road Warrior Face Paint, spiked shoulder pads, pantyhoes, and high heels as he drove towards the cookout saying “MARY ANNE, MARY ANNE, MARY ANNE, MARY ANNE over and over and drove straight towards and crashed on my boss’s table.

My Boss’s Wife went to check on him and George put the Liplock on her and my Boss was Irate as he shouted at george about kissing his wife and then George went Hawk Tuah into my Boss’s burger.

My Boss then attacked George but George hit him back and both George and my boss started fighting and using food as weapons and if things couldn’t get worse.

Here comes Fred showing up completely drunk, dressed up like Uncle Sam and he was Barefoot and then went over to stand on top of my table where I was eating to slurring the words to Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.”‘

Hr then takes my burger and puts his foot in my burger, and s**** his toes as I threw a hot dog at him and then he farted right in my boss’s face while he was engaged in combat with George as Fred leaps off the table and makes a dash for the bathroom to s*** it up.

Then here comes my other cousin fat frank who was wearing a patriotic speedo and doing a pole dance on the flag pole and he was licking and rubbing his watermelon sized man t*** as he went over to the pool where the kids were swimming, got on the diving board, and did ca cannonball into the pool causing water to slosh out of the pool as was hit with water as was Jerry;s grill as Gerry got pissd at Frank before he and Jim continued to fight which lead to the two of them falling into the pool.

Kimberly and Jennifer were pulled apart before they stripped down to their bra and p****** and then got into the pool to resume their catfight, trying to drown eachother and then Frank got out of the pool, put a hot dog down his speedo and proceeded to m********* with a hotdog.

Not to be outdone, here comes Arthur completely naked and took one of the c******* boards and placed it on a picnic table, and took a hot dog around his p****, and put them into the c******* and proceeded to have a three way with the Picnic table, and the c******* board as Louise took a beanbag and hit Arthour right between his asscheeks complainig about Arthur and the rest of the family being a nuisance..

Arthur than took a bottle of mustard and squirted it right in Louise’s face as she went ape sit like the time e did on the Maury Povich Show over 18 Years Ago to talk about her Phobia of Mustard, she was on the same episode as Mariah the Pickle Girl.

Believe me Louse and Arthur has been the joke of this town of Bellevue with Arthur having s** with a Picnic Table and Louise having a Phobia of Mustard.

Then When George and my boss were separated, my co worker David had his hands over his a**, and hi mouth was as wide open as an inflatable doll as he took a s*** in his pants because Fred’s drunk, barefoot a** was taking a s*** in my bathroom, so my Boss asked David to drop his pants and bend over as My Boss proceeded to wipe David A** in front of everyone at the cookout.

Jim took one of George’s turds and put a firecracker in it and launched it at Jerry as now the backyard was covered in exploded s***, but that lead to both him and Jerry throwing explosive s*** and fighting eacohother with it.

Then here comes My Nephew Harry showing up wearing his underwear and socks as he clapped his hands over his head singing “HARRY UNDERPANTS, HARRY UNDERPANTS, HARRY UNDERPANTS”

Harry then took some bananas and started dancing with bananas in front of everyone at the cookout and not to be outdone.

Chad turns on “It wasn’t me” by Shaggy on his boombox and stripped down to his underwear and socks as he then proceeded to do a headspin dance as both nephews were engaged in a dance off in their underwear.

Harry then stuffed a banana up his underwear and started giving himself a b****** with a banana as the next thing you know “Walk” by Pantera then played.

Steven The Videomaster had arrived to hit both Harry and Chad with VHS Tapes and shouted “HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO” and then Steven took a VHS Tape and hit David with a Video and then he hit my boss with a VHS TApe shouting “He Hit Him With a Video.

But then The Ghostbusters theme played and here come the Ecto-One as Steven approached the Ecto-One and out came Finn Wolfhard wearing his Ghostbusters Outfit.

Finn Wolfhard dared Steven to hit him with a VHS Tape as Steven was armed with a VHS Tape ready to hit Fin nWolfhard with as Steven made an attempt to attack but Finn Wolfhard dodged and laughed saying “I heard you said I looked like some Emo Aardvark and called me a Nugget.”

Then Fred exits the restroom wearing an American Flag thong with s*** stains smeared over him as he picked up his foot and smelled his feet as everyone looked disgusted at Fred and so did Finn Wolfhard saying “You have one fucked up Family.” Before Steven tok one of David’s turds, put a firecracker and threw it at Finn Wolfhard covering him with s*** as if he didn’t get slimed enough in Frozen Empire.

Steven then took a firecracker taped it to a vhs tape, lit the fuse, and then he nailed Finn Wolfhard in the head with an exploding VHS Tape.

Jim Ross could be heard on commentary shouting “HE HIT HI MWITH A VIDEO, HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, BAH GAWD FINN WOLFHARD JUST GOT STRUCK IN THE HEAD WITH AN EXPLOSIVE VHS TAPE, THIS IS A SLOBBERKNOCKER.”

Steven celebrated achieving one of his goals but then Asher Angel and Jack Dylan Grazer showed up to the Cookout and they tried trolling Steven to hit them with vHS Tapes.

Asher said “Come on want to hit this handsome face.” with Steven attempting to hit but Asher dodged and laughed.

Jack said “You made so many threats, and now you can’t hit us without throwing s*** at us.”

But then The Dewey Brothers showed up and hit both Asher Angel and Jack Dylan Grazer from behind with 2 by 4 Boards as Steven too kmore of David’s turds, put firecrackers in them, lit the fuse and threw explosive s*** at both Asher and Jack covering them in s*** now let’s see them say SHAZAM to that.

Steven then took two VHS Tapes and duck tapped them with firecrackers, lit the fuses and then nailed both Asher Angel and Jack Dylan Grazer in the head with Explosive VHS Tapes.

Jim Ross then shouted “HE HIT THEM BOTH WITH VIDEOS, HE HIT THEM WITH VIDEOS AND AS GOD AS MY WITNESS THEY ARE ALL BROKEN IN HALF, THIS IS A SLOBBERKNOCKER.”

Then The Dewey Brothers brought their Cousin Zane who had wedgied Logan Kim as Steven took one more of David’s Turds, stuck a firecracker in it, lit the fuse and tossed it covering Logan Kim in s*** and not Stay Puft Marshmallow Cream.

Steven took another VHS Tape, duck tapped a firecracker to it, lit the fuse and hit Logan Kim in the head with an Explosive VHS Tape.

Then Jr Shouted “HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, BAH GAWD THE VIDEOMASTER IS LAYING WASTE TO THESE YOUNG ACTORS.”

Then Steven instructed The Dewey Family to “GET THE TABLES” As they took a few Tables and laid the unconscious bodies of Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Finn Wolfhard, and Logan Kim on the tables as Steven took a ladder and climbed up the roof of the house and then proceeded to do a Frog Splash off of the Roof and crashed right through the tables as I knew a lawsuit was coming after this looks lik their acting careers are over No Shazam 3, Ghostbusters 5, or Stranger Things ever again.

JR then yelled “GOOD GOD, GOOD GOD WILL SOMEONE STOP THE DAMN COOKOUT, THES KIDS ARE BROKEN IN HALF, THE VIDEOMASTER IS A SON OF A B****, DO YOU HAVE NO HEART, DO YOU HAVE NO SOUL, YOU SON OF A B****.” Only for Steven to hit Good Old J.R. Jim Ross with a VHS Tape and shout “He Hit Him With a Video.

Then awhile the chaos was stil lgoing on, Fred snatched my other Hamburger, put his turd covered foot in my hamburger and proceeded to s*** his toes on my hamburger.

I took the last of David’s turds, put a firecracker in it, lit the fuse and threw it at Fred as s*** exploded on Fred covering him with s*** as I duck tapped a firecracker to one of Steven’s VHS Tapes, lit the fuse, and hit Fred with an explosive VHS Tape as I shouted “SHE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, SHE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO.”

I then laid Fred on top of a table, climbed up the roof, and hit a flying splash, crashing on top of Fred through the table.

Then everyone all engaged in fist fights, food fights, and blasted fireworks to end This 4th of July Cookout From Hell.