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You know what? I’m gonna tell a story I’ve only told once to one person cause it’s probably the most embarrassing story I have. That might not be true, but it is super embarrassing. F*** it, no shame though.

When I was 19 I met a girl at a party, I got her number, we were talking, and then the next day I ended up at her place. She wanted to give me a b******, but the timing could not have been worse, it was sub-optimal timing. It would’ve been better timing if she gave me a b****** while I was feeding my dogs in front of my parents, but this was just inhumane.

I really, REALLY had to take a piss, and for some reason, I didn’t just excuse myself and was like excuse me, I really need to use your restroom to urinate. I wanted to tough it out, I really wanted to be a big man, a big strong man, and y’know get a b****** while having to take a piss, and y’know I thought everything would be fine.

So she starts going to town and I pissed all over her, right in her mouth, in her face, and there was no mistaking it was piss. Like y’know you can put lipstick on a pig and it’s still a pig, this didn’t even try to disguise it’s true identity, it was as yellow as pineapple. It indiscriminately soaked EVERYTHING in her room, it was like I was firing a Thompson Sub Machine Gun, it was f****** propelling at speeds I could only imagine a f****** space-shuttle could travel at.

I was just shocked cause I don’t usually piss with a force of a thousand ballistas, but this piss was leaving my urethra with a mission, and that mission was to cover the world in itself, to drown universe in this vile liquid I was producing. It was absolutely remarkable, and I felt it coming too, I could feel it just surging, I could feel the calm before the storm, and then the storm itself.

I knew I had opened Pandora’s box, I was gonna try and play it off cool, I was like y’know what? I’m just gonna be like y’know I ejaculate pretty hard sometimes, but when I saw how yellow it was, I knew this is how the world was going to end. I remember after the apocalypse erupted from me I remember verbatim what she said, she said I just can’t deal with this.

I don’t remember exactly what she said next, and I don’t remember exactly how she dealt with the mess I created, but I do remember that it does have a happy ending. We still ended up hooking up, so I was fine, but on that day I learned a valuable lesson, humanity received a grim reminder that when you need to piss, you should absolutely piss.

It was also really cool of her though because she didn’t get extremely pissed off that I pissed on everything she held dear in the world. We saw each other a lot after that actually, we didn’t date, but we did see each other a lot. She was really cool, I really, really liked her. I just realized that I’m almost out of power on my phone here. I also just realized this is the first story I’ve shared about one of my many f***-ups with women.

New Confession

This starts on a sad note . I had just had my 14th birthday . No experience of s** . Only m*********** . My grandmother had been in hospital . This was in England where hospitals and all health care is free . She was told that she was going to die from terminal breast cancer . Given a choice to stay in hospital or go home and have nurses visiting her . She did not want to spend her last days in hospital . She wanted to be with her family . My mother asked her to come to stay with us . She did not work so would be at home . Her and my dad decided to shield me from the suffering . We only had two double bedrooms and a smaller one . My grandmother would stay in my room . They wanted me to move out . They had a friend who was 34 . She owned her own home and had a very good job . Allowing her freedom to choose her hours or work from home . She saw that my parents were stressed by dealing with everything . She offered to let me stay with her . I was reluctant to go . I knew her . But she was my parents friend . It was Friday after school that my parents packed my clothes in to their car . Driving me to her home . They dropped me off and left . June was the name of their friend . I had always called her Miss xxxxxx . From the start she told me not to call her that . It was June . She showed me to my room . Telling me it was my private space and i could treat it like it . Then she showed me the bathroom and toilet . Apologising for only having a bath and no shower . She liked to lay in a hot bath with a radio playing . Reading a book . She wanted me to treat her home as if it was mine . Helping myself to things from the fridge and cupboards . My friends who had seen June. Fancied her . She was blond and had a good figure . Like them i fancied her in a schoolboy fantasy way . I had masturbated thinking about her . On the first nigh June asked me if i wanted a bath to help me relax and settle in . At home we had a bath and a shower . Every night depending on how i was feeling . I had a bath or a shower . I told her i would like to have a shower . She gave me towels and i got my pyjamas . It is a large bathroom . I undressed in there and had my shower . Putting my pyjamas on after it . June asked me for the clothes that i had taken off . She was going to wash them . On the Saturday we had breakfast . June told me she was going shopping at a large designer outlet 12 miles from us . Telling me that i could go with her if i wanted to . We visited the stores . In clothes stores she held up things to show me and ask my opinion . She bought a few things . Then she took me to a lingerie store . Showing me underwear and asking for my opinion . Men were there with their wives but i was them looking at June . I thought it is me that she is with . She took me for a meal . Over the meal she asked if she could buy me something . In the end it was a pair of trainers . Expensive trainers . In the afternoon she wanted me to try them and show her what they looked like . June tried on some of the clothes that she bought . Still asking my opinion of how she looked in them . She showed me the underwear that she had bought . Asking if she had made the correct choice . That night when i was having my bath she cracked open the door . Not looking in . Only asking if i was alright and did i need anything . Over a few nights she opened the door wider . When she did i always covered my p**** with my hands . Just in case she came in . One night she did come in offering to wash my back . She didn’t wait for may answer . Getting hold of the flannel . Putting soap on it and washing me . This time my hands were covering my erection . For a few nights she did this . I was enjoying it . Then one time the soap slipped out of her hand . Falling between my legs . June reached down to pick it up . Brushing her hand against my erection . She did not say anything . Her next move was to get me to stand up . To let her wash my back . I couldn’t cover my erection . Without saying anything she was m*********** me and making me c** in the bath . She handed me a towel and told me to get dry . June was having a bath . She shouted me saying she needed my help . I went in . She was sitting in the bath . I could see her b**** . She asked me to wash her back . Putting soap on the flannel and handing it to me . I had my pyjamas on . She couldn’t miss seeing my erection in them . I washed her back for her every night . Then one night when she shouted me . She was standing up in the bath . Asking me to pass her the towel . Not only did i get my erection . I thought i was going to c** in my pyjamas . I gave her the towel and left her . After her bath she wore her cotton nightdress . Sitting opposite me i an arm chair . Just sitting there she looked so s*** . Then she sat with her knees apart . I was trying to see her p**** with no luck . After 2 nights it all changed . When she sat down . She sort of slid forward on the chair . Now when she was sitting with her knees apart i could see her p**** and her pubic hair . She did it for a couple of nights . I couldn’t help staring at it . On the second night she asked . Can you see enough . Pulling her nightdress up further . She came to sit with me . Letting me feel her . That night we had s** and i slept with her . Now every night i slept with her . As a 14 year old boy it was amazing . Some days she would not dress . Sitting in the lounge naked. She taught me to lick her p**** and give her an o***** . She started to drop me off at school . My pals did not know that i was staying with her . Only that she gave me a lift . They were all making comments about my lift . Nice comments . I had to stay with her for six weeks . My parents always saying they were sorry about me having to stay . My grandmother passed away and i could go home . When i was told . I didn’t want to leave . June told me that i could see her at any time . It made leaving her easier . My Saturdays and Sundays were spent with her and some evenings after school .

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