I went to a damn restrant for lunch today ordered the open faced roast beef sandwich plate. When it arrived I noticed there wasn’t as much meat or gravy as another one I saw, lots of mashed potatoes, they trying to potato me up. I call the waiter over (f**) to make him aware of this travesty and he seemed nonchalant about this. “well lookie here I sat on some damn chewing gum on this here bench!” I exclaim. “let me see” he said, and he looked closer to my pants, BOOM grabbed his head and passed gas right on his cracker face! Now fix my damn open faced roast beef I said!

While I was waiting I felt another fart brewing so I got up to do some crop dusting of the other diners.

When I got back to my seat the other diners was looking at me with a disgust on their white faces.

They came back with my sammy and I took one bite and then said “this sandwich is revolting, I ain’t paying a dime for it!”

As I was leaving I took my Alabama black snake out and flashed the damn waiter and said “that’s the only tip you getting boy!”

I enjoy eating lunch in my community.