I pray they change their number so I can’t reach them again. I would almost pay them to do it. I’m just too afraid even when I have good periods, say a month goes by… I always End up missing them again and that’s not appropriate. I don’t know what made me think they cared back or But any point missed me to or wanted my comfort over the last six months but it’s disturbing. Please I pray you change it if you find that message. I don’t know what I was even thinking last night trying for real . I want so badly to be close to people, but yeah years of the stuff has made me standoffish and cold. I can’t help it I can’t ever let myself think that somebody cares back I gets me in such trouble. I wish this never happened. I wish I never met her. It wasn’t worth it. I think I really was better spending my birthday alone. Are used to actually try to make real friends but I feel like I’ve been so damaged from her s*** I can barely make an acquaintance. That says a lot considering a lot of people have screwed me over. I just wanted to all be a bad dream . I never wanna let people get close to me again it’s just not worth it attachment is just pain.
