The first thing I do every morning is put on my tightie whities, go in the bathroom, lay in the tub, and piss myself. Morning piss, where it’s dark yellow and bitter and perfect. Then I take off my drenched undies, stuff them in my mouth and s*** on them while I j*******. F*** coffee, THAT is the best way to wake up! The only thing that’s make it better is it I had a buddy.