8 years
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This happened to me when I was young.

During a boy scout expedition, I had accidentally touched poison ivy on both hands. Immediately I was sent to the nurse and they wrapped my hands heavily and told me not to touch anything for a few days.

When my mom picked me up she told me that I needed a bath. My dad wasn’t around so I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her helping me but she insisted I take one because I smelled like crap (I had been at camp for two days without a proper shower). Really k was just scared of what might happen. So I told her to just give me some gloves and I’ll do it myself but she insisted she’ll just help me so my hands can heal properly. Didn’t want to risk spreading it more.

With reluctance, my mom got me in the tub and started bathing me. I tried not to think about it but the inevitable happened when she started scrubbing my privates. My little breakfast sausage grew into a full sized kielbasa in her hands. Didn’t really help that she kept pulling back on my foreskin to wash it.

Unfortunately, I shot my load all over the shower curtains. My mom just looks at me awkwardly and says “well, at least you didn’t get any on me.”

It was the most awkward experience in my life.

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