I think I might be psychotic. Literally, not in an, “Oh my god, he’s psycho!” way.
I have people in my head. Five of them. They are all very different, and they talk to each other and fight and love and have their own interests. I’ve told my psychiatrist about them, but since then I’ve felt bad about even having them and have avoided talking to them. I miss them. I can hear them, talking back there, but I haven’t talked back in a while. I really really miss them. They may be unnatural and weird, and one of them (*cough* DEREK *cough*) is a huge a******, but they’re like close friends to me. friends that… don’t have bodies and live in my head. Its not DID, they don’t take over my body, and my psychiatrist doesn’t think its schizophrenia. They’re not harmful. They never have been. Except on occasion when Sylvia wants to do something stupid.
I also see creatures that don’t exist. I know they don’t exist, and my therapist knows that i know. He says that’s good. I don’t even fully see them, like you would see a real object. Its more like a hazy transparent blob that my mind’s eye fills it in with the creatures. They’re very different, and very surreal. They aren’t real, but I wish they were. I like to pretend that they are from a separate plane, a dimension above our own, and i have some special ability to see them. But that just makes me more nervous, since schizophrenics sometimes believe they have a special ability. Some of them are very friendly, very helpful. Some of them are scary, and follow me around trying to make me more scared. I’ve gotten pretty used to them. Well, not the scary ones.
SO yeah, I might be crazy. Even my psychiatrist doesn’t know what’s going on in my own head.
