I knew what my girlfriend and her best friends boyfriend were doing in that room. I could hear the bed creaking gradually getting faster until it was all

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I knew what my girlfriend and her best friends boyfriend were doing in that room.
I could hear the bed creaking gradually getting faster until it was all out loud and careless. They were not sleeping after the party. I felt powerless to stop them and I didn’t tell her friend what happened out of shame. They both blatantly cheated and they got away with it.

New Confession

Some of this i learned and processed years after when my mother told me. Even when i was an infant if i was crying or fussy she would fondle my g e n i t a l s to soothe me and take me to breast. Apparently even when she was trying to toilet train as a first reward system she would do it as a reward. When i was no longer bedwetting she had me sleep in her bed. She continued to brrastfeed me for many years, long past puberty. She did so to make me obedient whether it was good grades or chores or general behavior. When school first started it was neurotic so she escalated it. At some point that i remember from around 7 or 8 she would use her mouth as a special treat. She also said she did it because boys are dirty and bad. She said she did it to keep me from shaming or degrading myself. When hair began to grow on my body she kept me shaved because she said ikept me her cute little boy. She did not tell me this until i dreamt it but apparently overnight she would commonly at same general age have me lay on top of her and rub my p e n i s against her between her legs. These things happened commonly until the first time i e j a c ulated when she had her mouth on me. From that event on she would have me enter her and climax every morning and every night at bedtime. To her it was keeping me good and focused and making good grades all the way through college (local, lived with her). It continued until her age made it too difficult to do safely and she eventually had of her in home caretakers serve as her surrogate for higher pay. I still see that caretaker since my mother died and i continue to oay her to visit her several times a week. I have never dated or been with any other women. Mother got me addicted to infantile headspace s** for control and i have no ability to be attracted to or date or have relationship,s** because i am helplessly trapped in that whole messed up mommy mentality.

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I have never been able to keep a relationship because of having a m i c r o p e n i s. Barely a nub flaccid and barely three inches on my best day. I sincerely do not blame women for the s***** rejection at all. When i do date anyone long enough for the potential for it to become s***** i tell them up front and most women appreciate it. A couple of women have asked to see it because they are curious and cant beliieve a p e n i s can be so small. I am so grateful to one of those women because she wanted to see it erect as well and helped me m*********. She even asked to take it in her mouth simply to see what it was like to not choke or gag. She was shocked when she saw how massively i ejaculated and ezpressed sincere sympathy when she told me afterwards it must drive me crazy to have that much in me all the time and said after that the really strange part was how my tiny p e n i s is so out of proportion to how large my t e s t i c l e s are. We ended up becoming long term friends and have coffee or lunch or dinner platonic dates almost every week. One dinner date she seemed off and after having a strong drink asked if she could watch me again. I was thrilled of course. I was laying on my couch recovering and she went to get somethiing to help me clean up and asked if i trusted her. She made me swear to not over think what she was about to do and then gave me a long slow passionate time in her mouth. After we caught our breath she told me that as much as she loved the concept of givilng b l o wj o b s it was not enjoyable becsuse of the size of most men. She has never had interest in anything else and no contact with her body at all but every few months she asks and gives that to me. She is a sincere friend, she told me long ago thar my small size would be a no go for her, but she introduced me to someone she knew who was a part time e***** as a side gig and i pay that woman a fair amount of money to simply sit clothed and watch me m*********.