4 weeks
x
110 Views

Ex wife and I are still off and on again lovers because we were married so long that it was difficult for each of us especially at our ages to go back into the meat grinder of seeking a relationship or lover. So for nearly a year she was dropping in for a quickie or a few hours or the ocxasional overnighter for comfortable heated (if a bit basic vanilla) s**. Then it dwindled off and stopped for a while as she occasional found one night stands or quick fucks, while I got my bare minimum needs handled by prostitutes (some of which were mild to h******** d********* for a specific subset of indirectly, not quite s***** needs/quirks of mine). But after a few months it resumed sporadically and then became pretty frequent, and to this day, several years later, it is usually a few times a month. While i am far more diverse and open minded, the basic s** for both of us was and continues to be very enjoyable. Despite our past self protection and hidden facets, we are more open and honest now than then. She is open about being with anyone other than me as i am with her, and she has been exhibiting a level of enjoyment about both relaying hers and hearing mine in the moment. As we come down from a very comfortable afterglow, we have even managed to find a place where we can talk openly and comfortably about experiences with others in calm moments. I am not bragging about this nor do i think it is totally healthy or sane, i actually fully realize the level of insanity and toxicity of our admitted addiction to each other on a strictly s***** basis. My real point to saying all this is that the visibility of her visits, quick or overnight (and in a few rare instances entire weekends) to my nearest neighbors, leads to the usual amount of neighborhood gossip. And on a couple of occasions when the activities were partially visible because they were on my deck or in the grass of my back yard, it was the talk of the surrounding blocks. Fortunately i am not surrounded by prudes who would call the cops despite the generally older age of most of the couples in the neighborhood. I found out we had been seen once because a neighbor’s wife made a sly teasing comment one day while i was mowing that my ex ans i had inspired her and her husband to add outdoor activities to their intimate bucket list as soon as they could find a comfortable location. I smiled and surprised her by saying they were welcome to use my back yard. Not that they have taken me up on the offer yet. I actually told my ex wife later we had been seen and let’s just say that the unrealized exhibitionism was a serious boost to her climaxes that day. She even managed to get the words out that she wants us doing more outside on the deck and in the grass, but she could only nod vigorously but not look me in the eye when i suggested we give the next door couple a heads up so they could plan to watch and make it a combined voyeurism/exhibitionism experience. Hopefully that is a near future experience. But to the ultimate point….the public recognition of these interludes with my ex wife is a very important and very core component of why i am able to be a secret unsuspected neighborhood source of oral pleasure to multiple men in the neighborhood, without suspicion of my natural dual instincts. The neighborhood men who come to me to receive oral pleasure know among themselves because it is a very discreet and highly valued/respected outlet dor them and none of them want to lose it. While it takes a few different forms in the details based on which of the men it is, they all are very considerate and respectful of my life and visibility and boundaries as well because they get the best i have to give and they also know that i enjoy it as much if not more than they do for my own multiple reasons. It works on mutual consideration courtesy discretion and respect. And yes my ex wife knows. Sometimes she will even tease me about not tasting it when the doors close and our deep kissing begins. Once not long ago she talked about it during our intimacies, and after even admitted it was something part of her wanted to watch some time but part of her does not. She knows i will not put her at risk in any way. Her comfort and acceptance of it is such that one night in the wee hours of the morning as she slept still, i was wide awake and wanting more but respected her sleep. I went out back for a few cigarettes while i got my inflamed libido under control, and when i went back to her she was awake and said that as long as i was not on my knees in the shed servicing a man she was ready for more….i simply let her kiss me very deeply so she could verify i had not just let a man spill his seed in my mouth. It led to a very slow paced and intense exchange between us that frankly was far more emotional for me than i was able to handle for a lot of reasons i could not explain to her even though i tried. She actually let a form of something maternal shine through, and said she understood what i was feeling and had her own version of it as well, then gently but insistently pushed my head to ber breast and held me thru the night as i dozed and suckled thru the rest of the night. She woke me the next morning to tell me she had changed her plans for the day so we could shower then lose ourselves in each other’s bodies. When she did finally leave that evening she confessed she wanted to stay overnight again, that perhaps she was only now realizing how my own hunger constantly burned. She even asked me to lean through her car window and kissed me breathless, then held my gaze and told me that she understood my needs and she did not expect or want me to stop kneeling for men on her account. And then she was gone. I did not see her for another two weeks. During those two weeks she texted casually several times, a couple of times teasing me about whether i had been on my knees that day. I told her honestly when i had and she respondes that she was glad for me. It surprised me when she asked a few days in advance if it would be possible to give her an entire weekend again even saying she did not want me to go without doing what she knew i enjoyed and did not want to be so selfish that one of my “oral groupies” go without. I assured her that i would absolutely clear the weekend plate for her and her alone and that weekend cannot be described in terms of passionate and relentless immersion in carnality and mutual savoring of bare male and female flesh between my ex wife and i. And of course the neighbors noticed and afterward a few of the men i give my mouth to told me tbey simply did not understand how i could so enjoyably give them what they got and have either the energy or orientation that my ex wife and i had as well. It is not something i give any thought to. Only one man crossed a line on that though when in the middle of my time on my knees for him he started talking about what the exchanges with my wife were like in detail and wanted me to talk vividly about it to him as i stroked him to finish on my face and even said he wanted to watch us in bed. I greatly enjoy getting a facial from either a man or my ex wife but i got way pissed off without expecting it and stopped and told him to piss off and never come back if he ever dared say an y thhing like that again. Apparently word spread low key as other men in the coming days told me that they had all gotten into him that they had their own issues with what he had done and that he would have real problems if he stupidly screwed it all up for everyone. I took it as a blend of courtesy to me and selfishness on their part but each man who came to my shed in the days after got even more and better from me without realizing why or what it meant to me. That jerk did straighten up and earned shed time back. I suppose at the end of the day it is only my ex wife or i that have to understand all this about me. But in the last couple of weeks she has come over a little more frequently than before and not for a quickie. But it does definitely mask the part of me that relishes being in the shed on my knees from outside eyes…..from the diary of a closet neighhorhood cocksucker.

New Confession

I spent a lot of quality time over coffee with my MIL. We talked about anything under the sun for hours. Usually when my wife went out shopping or for lunch with her 2 sisters. One day she seemed abnormally quiet and when i asked what was on her mind she said that she was worried i would leave her daughter because she had heard from the other 2 that my wife had shut down s** in our marriage. She said that she knew i loved my wife but that it was clouding my judgement to accept a marriage witbout s**. I got pretty down about hearing the quiet part out loud at all even worse from my MIL who i had great trust in and respect for. She said that while she knew she should think of her daughter first she worried because she knew that i turned a blind eye to the topic and that she was also aware from the other two that my wife was making snide remarks about me m***********. She said she knew me well enough to know that i would never seek an affair but feared that that made me too vulnerable. As the conversation unfolded i admitted that i had considered paying for s** and she implored me to not do that because of risk of disease. Sad as it was i told her that my biggest reason for avoiding it was that all i would want from an e***** would be to be held and talked to while i masturbated but even then it would feel pathetic and lonely and i would not get the fulfillment of knowing i had given pleasure to someone else. She said she understood and we conversationally moved on to other topics.

Weeks went by and it did not come up again but we were rarely alone. But i should have expected she would bring it up again when the moment and privacy allowed. It was more embarassing for me because she said that one of my sisters in law told her that my wife had been making comments that i was being moody and quiet and that i should probably go to a h***** or j******* or something. I was actually angry about the fact that it was being talked about between the women and my MIL said that she got that but what i should be angry about was that my wife showed such disrespect and disregard to shame me to others especially her family. I had to admit she was right and she told me that both her other daughters had agreed to stop listening when my wife made such comments and to tell her to knock it off. I told her i felt really embarassed because this also meant that my SILs’ husbands doubtless knew my situation and all the comments as well. More weeks went by. The sisters go out shopping and my MIL and i are at her table again talking around the topic and she said the issue was not going to go away. I told her i got that but that there was no changing the situation. She left to go to the bathroom and when she came back as we talked about other things she eventually called me out on having been looking at her cleavage in the neck of her robe. I was so ashamed and tried to apologize but she actually laughed and told me to shut up because she had deliberately been showing her cleavage because she felt i deserved to get a peek at a woman occasionally. Then she did not say another word just looked at me and of course i could not stop looking now. It was not like she had huge breasts but the neck of the robe was open very low. I could not speak at all. She reached to the neck of her robe and pulled it more open and lower. All i could do was keep looking despite how awful i felt about what i was doing. She shrugged the robe off her shoulders revealing her breasts down almost to the n****** and by now i was so nervous and paralyzed sitting there trembling. She smiled at my facinated staring and thanked me fo4 the compliment. We sat there for what seemed forever until she spoke my name to get my attention, and just smiled and nodded at me and told me to not deny myself. Feeling so helpless and pathetic did not stop me from reaching under the table as i sat across from her and opening my pants to touch myself under the table. I was lost, slowly stroking myself as i stared at her breasts and sometimes able to look her in the eye. She told me to take my time and enjoy the view and what i was doing. She could tell when i was getting close, telling me to relax, to let it happen, and when she untied her robe and allowed it to fall off her shoulders and breasts completely i lost it and grabbed the edge of the table so tightly as my other hand milked my pleasure out of me. It was so emotional when she placed her hand on mine on the table edge as i moaned and emptied my desperate lust. When my contractions ended she continued to hold her hand on mine as i caught my breath. All i could do was look at her as she smiled, letting me keep looking as she sat there casually bare breasted and smoking a cigarette, eventually even lighting one for me then going to get me a washcloth then sat back across from me as i sheepishly cleaned myself and closed my pants and my face burned as she giggled as i cleaned my puddle off the floor under the table. She just watched as i rinsed the washcloth nervously and sat back down unable to even look at her. She reached over and stroked my cheek and told me to stop overthinking it. Then she asked me to not talk and to just listen. She told me to not read too much into this, but that it was something that yes felt like a betrayal of her daughter but that it was actually one of my SILs that had the idea and the other one convinced her it was a solution to the problem. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die but she made me promise to try to not be embarassed or ashamed and that the three of them (MIL and both SILs) were on my side so to speak. Otherwise there was no need to overtalk or overthink it whatsoever. Over the next months it happened regularly, my SILs simply told me the next time i saw them that they would never treat me badly but that i needed to be braced for the occasional discreet teasing about it in subtle private ways. The first few repeats were only at my MIL’s initiation, she would simply look at me across the table and smile at me and i would pleasure myself as she slowly bared her breasts. She was never impatient nor made me feel like it was a chore. She slowly began to ramp things up over time. I was so turned on by how she would sit there holding my eyes with hers smoking as i stroked myself. I felt like i would pass out the first time she told me to give it to her, to c u m for her. I obeyed as if hypnotized when she told me to stand up and let her watch. She always made it exciting every time. She started to seductively stroke her breasts as i did so. She started sitting close and eventually put my free hand in her breast. Eventually made a new rule that i be naked when i did it for her telling me i owed her the view. I barely kept my balance the first time she had me stand directly in front of her and held her breasts up and told me to milk myself onto them, even casually having a cigarette aftet as she had me clean her breasts with a washcloth. She eventually had me lay on the sofa as she sat across the room and watched me spend hours pleasuring my body for her. Eventually let me lay my head in her lap suckling and nuzzlimg her breasts as i stroked myself. I realized how emotionally addicted to her i was the day i sat at her table after her daughters left and after they left she walked into her own kitchen completely bare and had me follow her to the bathroom so i could touch myself while watching her shower. Even eventually as she lay covered in a bubble bath as i stood looking down at her and as i got close she lifted her torso to let me empty myself onto her wet breasts then had me watch as under the bubbles she pleasured herself while keeping my eyes locked to her eyes. I cherish the day she waited until they left so she could come into her own living room bare and kneel and watch me as i stroked myself for her to watch, then when she knew i was close, stood and took my hand and led me to her bed. She laid back with open thighs and reached up to me and pulled me close, her arms around my shoulders and her legs lockiing around me as i gasped when i entered her as she said it was ok, to just let it happen, we could take our time the next time.

I deeply value the time that both my sisters in law told me how much they cherished me bringing love and passion to their widowed mother’s life. How she had simply wanted to let me feel like a man again but how it had let her feel what a woman longed for again, a true lover for herself as much as her being my lover. After my MIL passed away those two sisters in law and i grieved together. One of them had divorced, and after several weeks tbey both sat me down and told me that she (the divorced one) wanted to fill their mother’s role in my life and i vowed to them both that i would do everything i could possibly do to bring her the joy that i had had with their mother. I am in my 60s now as they are and somehow it is even more fulfilling as time passes and my SIL and i are lovers just as equally as their mother and i were.

Related Confessions