hey guys, been a while, i've not posted in over 3 years madness i used to post every week, honestly got in a relationship out of it thrived and then

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hey guys,
been a while, i’ve not posted in over 3 years madness i used to post every week, honestly got in a relationship out of it thrived and then bottomed out currently derealising my way through my busiest summer to date. love it though you’ll be happy to know i’ve finally travelled! amsterdam, morrocco, paris and soon tenerife im loving it, it’s kind of weird reading all my old posts from when i was literally a kid with the same stupid ‘just another fucked up teen’ tag and how genuinely obsessed i was with every little relationship i had (btw to whoever posted my name and that im ‘managing well’ text me dawg cuz very few knew about this little hobby, but yeah idk i’ve been smoking weed daily for 3 years major love hate relationship there, my most recent (proper) ex oblitorated any unearned confidence so currently approaching my year of celibacy (turned 18 15 months ago) lowkey so peaceful and also SO BORING just want a boyf who smokes and drives :0 enough yapping about how depressingly lonely i am and more about how to gain game back after being convinced ur the epitome of chopped??
if you’ve read this far seriously gimme some advice (my little :)(: will be checked to only way to make sure i see lol)
but peace! hope ur chilling and if ur not go smoke a fat bifter LOLZ

– your favourite not so fucked up adult???? L :)(:

New Confession

My daughters boyfriends uncles grabbed me coming out the door. They pushed me into a nice Escalade and told me were going for a ride. They took me to this place far away from anywhere if they chose to they could kill me and no one would find me. I was threatened by the kid he told me about his uncles and what they could do. I was scared shitless. Wondering what was in their mind. They told me they heard the stories and they were disappointed. These guys were muscular they worked out they were threatening figures. We arrived at a house away past the Forrest. Behind the mountains. Real high up. We went into a closed private room with a tv set and a couple of seats. Through his phone he set up a double chat with his nephew and my daughter was with him. They talked as they explained I was there with them and they would get to see everything that’s about to happen.
They told me to strip, socks and all.
They then cuffed my arms on the wall spread apart and same with my legs. They detailed my hole body part for part degrading in verbal abuse every failure compared to their chilled perfections as men. My daughter was watching all this abuse I was experiencing as her boyfriend kept telling her baby this is for you, payback for him bathing you and touching you when you were younger. It’s your turn to watch him suffer for what he did to you. They took off the cuffs and beat the s*** out of me wrestling style, made me go through holds of pain and suffering, total humiliation. Manhandling galore. Super exhibition galore. They totally humiliated my a**. When done they let my daughter talk. Dad you know what you did was worthy of this compared to getting killed. I still love you dad I told them not to they wanted to. All I could say was I deserved it. Then thanked her. Later on I’d see her in person not knowing if I could find the guts to show my face after an experience like that.

Related Confessions

You know that day you told me how you thought you were in love with me? That you were anxiously waiting to tell me how you feel? Well, I was feeling that way too. I’ve been feeling like that this entire time. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in the moment. I didn’t know how to process it. I still don’t. But you make me feel so incredibly different. It’s uncomfortable, uncanny and here to stay. You make me want to be a better person in the hopes that we make something beautiful.

But what’s really holding me back isn’t my fear of intimacy. Or the fact that I’m completely avoidant. What holds me back from embracing this newfound love is her. I look just like her. My middle name is hers. We have the same interests, the same smile, the same everything. I understand you’ve known me longer than her, and that you liked me before you even met her, but I don’t know. I’m scared that you only like me now because you see her in me.

I appreciate the rekindling of our friendship, it means so much to me as it does to you. But I’m afraid of these feelings we have for each other. I really do like you. I would go as far as to say I love you. But I’m scared that you only love me because of her.

I’ll say what I would like to say to you here.

Being around you is such a privilege in my life. I understand that you think you’re indebted to me, but honestly, it’s the other way around. You’ve shown me that I’m capable of a love that I don’t want to run from. You are so generous, and hilarious, and incredibly handsome. To rekindle with you has been such a rollercoaster, and I never want to get off. I just hope that you like me for me, and not who you see in me. I really really like you. It’s making me freak out. I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I’d like a life with you.

But naturally, I can’t bring myself to say this to you face to face. Even if you wear your heart on your sleeve.

I like you so much. I’m sorry I’m scared.