under the influence of a mental illness, I did things that I consider unethical, a belief I would sometimes express to others. I thought they were bad when I was doing them, too; I was trying to stop and eventually succeeded. I might not have morally been a hypocrite, because I condemned myself for doing that s*** as well; however, in terms of behaviour, I can no longer deny I was behaving hypocritically. it hurts to admit, but accepting that as the reality of the situation is still a relief in its own way.
