my mental illness caused me to do some twisted things in the past that I'm still working on resolving to this day. some of those things, I've resolved

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my mental illness caused me to do some twisted things in the past that I’m still working on resolving to this day. some of those things, I’ve resolved somehow; working through them in a way that makes sense, finding reasons to believe in the possibility that they turned out fine; but some things I’ve done are ones where I don’t know for sure if they crossed some kind of irredeemability line or not. like, I’ve done other unrelated s*** where I _know_ how bad it was, or at least can reasonably infer. I know what that weight feels like. but it’s like this other s*** is so complicated that it eludes that certainty.

the issues that still get stuck in my teeth, I try to resolve with whatever moral and logical reasoning I can manage that sounds convincing enough to me, and that would hopefully sound convincing to other people if I ever told them about this s***. and failing that, I just cling to a handful of responses from anonymous confession sites that I’ve dumped this s*** in that say that the things I did were fine to move on from, or at least not _evil_. it’s the only way I can think I’m a person who deserves things like happiness, an identity that isn’t these things I mull over, and being around other people. and it works, for a few hours or a few days at a time. the weight lifts, and I get to be a person. and then we’re right back to that open wound, and it’s all I am.

and it’s so damn tiring. even trying to be my own defence attorney against the part of my brain that goes into moral panics about these things feels like I’m deluding myself, running away from the monsterhood that I have to be. like I’m the kind of fucked up that doesn’t _get_ to be over it, ever. I’ve gone to a counselor about this s***, but they’re not gonna opine on the moral dimensions of this s*** or how to resolve them; all they did was tell me I wasn’t a threat to people around me and to be nicer to myself. I feel like I’m all on my own when it comes to actually dealing with this s***. I feel like only death will release me from this hell. I feel like that’s what I deserve.

New Confession

My wife just got a huge silicone Horse Di.ldo to add to her collection. The horse co.ck is 15 inches long with a stiff inner core so it feels rigid and realistic.

Horses have a flat co ck head which provides more resistance as she tries to push the huge horse d**** inside her bun. It creates a vacuum as it moves in her bun. She moans as she sits on it and slides lower and lower on the shaft as it spreads her bun open.

Her latest toy has a built in tube so it can squirt hot liquid deep inside her bun, imitating a horse cu.mming. It has a ridge line halfway down the shaft that spreads her open. It also has a huge knot near the base which can be further inflated to be even bigger after it is in her.

It has no balls because a gelding doesn’t have balls since geldings are castrated. She says that I should be castrated too and be her gelding. She holds my balls and shakes them a little and says, ‘They’re gonna come off honey. You know I’m gonna have you neutered and emasculated.’

As the knot gets inflated it must feel like giving birth as the knot grows bigger and stretches her inside. It does have a suction cup base to hold it steady so she can sit on it and slide down on the shaft.

Her collection of fantasy d**** co.cks keeps her busy so that I hardly get any s.ex. She has fat co.cks, ones with spikes, ones with ridges, ones with bumps and she has stra.p-ons that she insists on using on me to make it clear what my position is in the relationship.

She makes me bend over, then she grabs my balls and she forces her strap-on up inside me. Then the thrusting begins. My co.ck gets hard and she laughs about my erection and says that I must be gay. Then she thrusts more.

Related Confessions

I haven’t talked to my sister in years , and her husband happened to die a month ago. I went over to her house and I sat down with her, and I told her they don’t know what’s been going on between her and my father when he was still alive. I know what was going on between my parents and my sister and her husband. I took my sister into her bedroom , and I had s** with her. Oh my god , I told my mother that me and my sister talked and I know that mother and my sisters husband and her and my father were having s**. So I told my mother to get naked and let my father catch me and her having s**.And then I wanted him to join in with us. My father walked by the bedroom and my mom and me were having s** and he opened up the door and he said , what’s going on here. I know my father had never had s** with another man before, but I wanted him to have s** with me.His son. I had my father take off all of this clothes and get on top of and put his c*** inside me and f*** me. I told him to f*** me like my sister. So there was my father penetrating me in c****** inside of me. I told my father I wanted him to do that for a long time.So we started doing it every day he was c****** inside of me. He would push his c***, so deep inside of me and c** and it felt so good.The warmth of his c** inside of me is all I wanted. Having my father, making love to me and c****** deep inside me every day.It was so fantastic. I felt so much closer to my dad when he was penetrating me with his c***. Then I started going into there bedroom and getting under the covers and sucking him till he was hard and then having him c****** so fast before. Then I told myfather to start inhaving others like his friends coming over and the two friends have been coming over a lot and penetrating me. Both of them filling me up with there c**. I never told anyone that my wife’s father started penetrating me the first day we got married. We were getting ready for the wedding together and I asked him to penetrate me in coming and he did. Over the hole 20 years that I was married to his daughter we were.having s** and we both loved it. He always worked from home and that’s when he would penetrate me , and we kept at the secret for years. We even made videos and sold them. I really enjoyed his c*** Penetrating me because it was so thin and it would go so deep and I could feel him explode inside me. Ive had a lot of men inside me but his was the best and his c** was great.