Love is incredibly complicated and there are not always easy answers. But this scenario seems like it can’t end well if you leave things the way they are just because they feel good. It seems like you will end up hurt either way but are procrastinating making a decision because it will be hard to handle the pain of leaving him. Rip off the bandaid, explain how you feel and why you need to do that, or give an ultimatum. Im sure its confusing for him too. Hes probably not terrible and the situation isnt bad, im sure no one means for anyone to get hurt. But the fact that you are keeping it a secret might gnaw at your conscience. Im really sorry you are dealing with this. Please know you deserve respect and to be loved in the way you need, and not be kept as a secret. Of course i am only guessing with advice, i dont know what will work best, but it seems to bother you a great deal. Sending you hugs.