The reason it hurt me so much was that the songs were inspired by you. I wanted you to care about them…then your account disappeared. And so I blocked you elsewhere and it took me eleven months to apologize. Then I still didn’t quite leave you alone, did I? How embarrassing. I was under the impression you cared about me. Probably because you said you did but I’m not entirely an idiot and I know people say things all the time.

I never got to tell you the reason I wanted you to care about the music and I never will, so I’ll leave it here. Each track, from one to sixteen, has pieces of us in it. Our conversations, our jokes, and also my own struggles and feelings during that time. I wish I’d gotten to tell you…but, alas, perhaps it’s best that I didn’t.

My birthday is on Christmas. Did you even know that? Did you know anything about me? Did I even open up at all? Would you have wanted me to? I wish I had never told you I liked you in anyway beyond friendship. It complicated everything and now I can’t even ask how you’re doing without having to risk coming off completely f****** insane.

So I just hope you’re doing well. I really do.