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That night we planned to kick her out, but she was pulled over and surprise! daniel had a warrant for his arrest for the assault of a minor. the police ignored lancaster’s dispatch of “bring the female” because she was the domestic abuse victim in this case, the police felt sorry for her and let her go so she came home. since dan was in jail at this point, we didn’t want to just throw her out even though we ran sacked her room going through everything to make sure that nothing that belonged to us was stashed away and I even went through her car the next day and kept doing so. all trust at this point was gone. we didn’t know what to do at this point, so we made a deal with her that if she and daniel both got counseling for their issues we would call cps to start getting their kids back. boy did that backfire. the social worker basically told us that we couldn’t have them in our home because they were a “lost cause” but i’m getting ahead of myself. I believe with my whole heart that people can and do change.

I gave them the name of crossroads counseling in williamsport, pa, which is a very good facility that helps with mental health and addiction issues. she never made the phone call. dan was in jail for a month and she became a completely different person. she became lazy, depressed, and slept most of the day. I would drag her [censored] out of bed and she’d make an excuse to crawl back into it. her usage began to get worse and our landlord began the eviction process for everyone in the home because she had also talked with the lancaster caseworkers. she told them that she was unhappy that an addict and possibly a trafficker was in her home. we found black mold prior to this and was planning to move anyway. we needed money, so I began selling things of mine, and the money would go missing shortly after. she would say “let’s go to lancaster and have a girl’s day”, and we would always go to the same mcdonald’s and meet the same people. one of those people knew a cousin of mine that has a pretty long rap sheet. I quickly put two and two together and began the plan to get moved without them. I couldn’t say anything to anyone because I feared what her and her psychotic husband was capable of. around $800 over the next month and a half alone went missing and that’s not included in what the overdraft fees from the bank account was because she would get into my wallet and take my card to fill up her gas tank.

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Idk if this happens commonly or if i am just very very unlucky. My father passed away 9 years before my mother. When she passed it was time to clean out the home they lived in for over 30 years of a 60 year marriage. My father took his camera with him all over the world in the military. Still camera and 8mm. Boxes and boxes of slides and reels. I simply saved them and set them aside for later. I got time months later and got one of those 35mm slide to jpg scanners and just ground thru them. When i got them all scanned i got a later chance to prop my feet up and go thru them. Amongst all the widespread scenery and travel and cool vintage moments i stumble across pics of my mother. Many of them simple poses in many places, mostly outdoors, she was actually a modestly attractive classic pinup type. But then i run into the lingerie shots. And then the tasteful n u d e s indoors and outdoors. And then the real shocker. On any scale my mother was the classic church going uppity prudish b**** woth zero tolerance for bawdy or suggestive behavior or language. Hell sometimes i would say something crude just to push her uptight buttons. You would not believe how bent out of shape she got when she found evidence of my first s** dream on the sheets. Or at least what i ever saw from her was that way.

But i see hundreds of shots that are full bore graphic. Nothing artful about them. Spread shots, bendovers, hands between her legs, and then actually having s**. But in none of them is my father the man she is havimg s** with. He was obviously behind the camera. Some of them? A minister i recognize because she used to drag me to church all the time. Neighbors or friends of my parents that i remember. . It just kept piling on. Shots of my mother having lesbian s** with my aunt, my father’s older sister. Shots of my mother with other women i dont recognize, shots of my aunt with some of the same women. Shots of my mother with multiple men. Def did not wake up that or any day expecting or wanting to see pics of my mother getting spitroasted or used by a group of men and pretty much looking like she is having a grand time. When i do manage to force myself to power thru them all, hypocrtically, my parents were both moderately racist, but the handful that did have my father in them? He was having s** with a few different women, all african american women, except for one woman. His f****** sister, the same aunt i saw shots of my mother having s** with.

The s***** part was having to go through all of them because i did not want to risk losing family photos or memories or history that were NOT my parents’ s** escapades. At that point i accepted that the stack of 8mm movies might be similar. And i was right. The huge majority of them were my mother and the various random men my mother was having s** with, but some of the men were not in the still shot stack. No decent family movies at all sadly, the whole lot except 3 of the 8mm were either my mother and who tf knows who the men were, or great, a lesbian movie with my same aunt. The 3 exceptions? A mix of my parents doing foursomes with two diff couples. Both of those couples i knew/ remembered as family friends, i had grown up with their kids. In both cases wife swapping with my parents. And the crown jewel…..obviously sarcastically….my dad with my mother and aunt.

Look don,t get me wrong, i am nowhere near a prude, we all have our little quirks and kinks. I am not judging any of them, it was theie thing to do. I confess i had a few queasy reactions because the stills and movies span a time from before i or my sister were even born, to a time when we were mid 30s, which put my parents and aunt in their 70s. Hell i hope i am still having s** when i am that age.

By the time i was done, i had one focus…..there was not a condom in sight in any of it. Was my father actually my father? Is my sister my full sister or half sister? Do i have half siblings i dont even know somewhere? How glad am i that i have never done the spit in a tube ancestry or 23 and me thing, because i do not want to fall into that vortex of doom?