It was much more than a thought! I was very exclusively attracted to males for as long as I can recall and never once in all my years did I ever see a female I was attracted to in any way. When I saw a female, there was nothing, as if I couldn’t even see her. She was just a blank figure with no substance.

My lady is the first and only woman I’ve ever really seen and it wasn’t forced. I looked up from my desk and she was standing across the room smiling and shaking hands with other employees and my whole world stood still, I couldn’t even breathe. From the moment I saw this gorgeous woman my heart, mind and body has been on fire for her. I can’t say whether I’d still be attracted to men or other women because she is all I can see, think of and the only thing in this whole world I want.

The truth is, I feel ashamed of who I used to be, about everything I’ve ever done because I wish she was my first and only love, lover and the only thing I will ever see until my dying breathe. I can’t erase my past but I want her to know everything because I want our love to be pure and whole with no secrets between us. So, I suppose I’m just going to confess here until I work up the nerve to tell her all these things.