It’s no hate towards women. It’s not that I don’t like them. I’m just not really down for commitment, or even to be social.
I’ll tell you honestly where it comes from. It’s not p****** moaning or anything like that, it’s been long time but it is related to an old ex friend with benefits. People who know her really hammered, the s*** out of my brain for years and I resisted, fought back, it was ugly, and it exhausted and burned my brain out. The drive for such things. I lost all faith in love romance any such thing for the first time in my life, late 30’s. That’s not to say I’m an incel or anything like that, I just don’t have the energy even after this long. It fried me out I’m starting to think permanently. Probably the hardest mental battle I ever had. I did resist, I fought back, which was ugly, but that resisting really fucks with your head. It felt like I was physically grabbing my own brain and keeping it the right way while dealing with all kinds of s***, alone. It really kicked my a**. So if anyone wonders, and has a problem with me being antisocial or a avoidant, I could name names. This is who you look to. It’s not even really about her, that would have been great to just have her leave and that’s it.
So yeah, even if I tried, I just don’t have it in me.