I've fallen further into depression than I ever have. The night terrors have gotten so bad that I'm bitting holes in the inside of my mouth while I sleep.

4 years

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I’ve fallen further into depression than I ever have.
The night terrors have gotten so bad that I’m bitting holes in the inside of my mouth while I sleep. I’m having flashbacks of all the things he said. I’m feeling more unwanted, unworthy, used, useless than ever.
I’m to the point where I don’t know what to do. I feel myself pulling away from everyone. I deactivated my social media because if I lose my battle this time, I don’t want everyone to see the face of the cowardly loser. I’m trying. I’m losing.

New Confession

I had a litter of 4 puppies. I’m down to 3 now. I killed one… by accident. I’m feeling so so guilty. It’s been 3 weeks since they were born and it was about time they were administered dewormer medication. The vet told me only 1 pill per puppy (4 pills in a packet). A pill fell out 1 of the puppies mouth. I didnt see and thought it was the puppy next to the pill that didnt get it. I gave it to the puppy. In 3hrs time the puppy started breathing fast and died a short while after. The body was lifeless. Tears filled my eyes. I grew attached to them like they were children. As I was burying it, tears fell into its grave, with voices in my head ” you killed her”. Repeatedly…

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