I’ll never be normal. I really don’t fit in, everything feels like a game and unreal, as if nothing is ever true. It just feels so f****** weird tbh. I don’t want to exist, it is exhausting to exist tbh. I just wish I wasn’t born, I don’t know what am I doing in life. Everything feels so fake and weird and it kinda hurts. Life feels so weird to me, everything feels so fake. My emotions are so weird, I don’t feel normal, everything is a performance, always wearing a mask. I hate how I will never be normal or feel normal, my desire and attachment to my friends is weird, I just wish you were happy or better, I wish yoy paid attention to me. I wish I was on your mind. I am so tired. Human relations are so weird and tiring, I don’t want ti have friends ever again, I wanna stay away, because if not I’ll want to fuse with people. This will be the only way I can feel less insecure. I wish the human instrumentation project was real, I want nothingness, I want peace, I want this void to be filled. Life is way too hard, I am good at nothing, I have nothing to show for, I have nothing to be able to do. I wanna not exist.