I’m Sorry

I am no longer sure that all of you were guilty,
It’s been 30 years or so.

They told us of your crimes,
we believed them when they told us what you did.

Such horrible crimes.

They told us that each of you were going to get off on a technicality.

I couldn’t let that happen.

I did my job.

Your eyes and your sobbing never leave me.
I earned that pain.
I used to carry it with pride,
even though the bottle drug me down.

I wore the addiction to whiskey as a earned badge of honor.

I no longer hide in that bottle.

I no longer believe that all of you were guilty.

Most of you were,
I know that to be true,
At least that’s what I tell myself.

Those lawyers weaved their words into an illusion that fooled the jury.

That’s what they told us.

They were law enforcement for Gods sake.
They swore you were guilty.

They showed us the pictures of those broken little bodies.

We had to dispose of you.
We had to stop you from hurting anyone else.

The rainy night,
the headlights,
the muddy hole we made you dig.

You looked me dead in the eyes that night,
You’re the one I think was innocent.

I will never forget your eyes.

Everybody cries at the end.
When they realize there are no more tomorrows.
They all apologize while sobbing.
They confess and sob.
They beg for their life.
They all do it.

You didn’t.

You just cried and dug the hole.

You never said you were sorry.
You never confessed.
You didn’t even beg for your life.

You just looked me in the eyes.

The mud
The headlights
The hole
I’ve never regretted pulling the trigger before.

You were my last.

I quit the team.

Your eyes will haunt me forever.

I believe you were innocent.

That night I went from a savior of children,
To the killer of an innocent man.

I’m sorry