all my life i’ve been waiting for it to end, for years i told myself that i just needed to get to 18, then i could go. i will turn 18 in less than a month, and i have no intentions to end my life. im still not “recovered”, but now im getting treatment and therapy, im soon going to get a diagnosis. the truth is, despite the fact that ive been able to find happiness in life, thats not what keeps me here, hell i would give all that up if it meant i could have a nice painless death, what’s been keeping me alive is the realization that i owe my life to the future youth. let me explain, ive decided to study psycology, not just because is a fascinating subject, but because if i get that diploma, it means i made it, i survived that hell i’ve been in since i was 9, and because i survived that, that means its possible, and if i have the power to get through all this, then i have the responsability to help those future kids who, like myself, are struggling (yes that is the spider-man quote, kinda). i’m painfully aware of the s*** world we’re in, and i know that if it s**** right now, it will be much worse in the future, and all that new generation will grow up with all that trauma and mental b*******, so i have to be there for them, i have to be by their side just like i wish someone would have been by mine, that’s my purpose, even if i don’t want my life, i can’t take it away from those who might need me in the future. hopefully this resonates with you, yeah i know its not that deep but, who knows, maybe this will help someone out there, maybe im already fulfilling my purpose