Despite me thinking the world of you before, to both of you. I’m positive now that cutting ALL of you off was the best decision.

I’ve always wondered about the what-ifs after everything that happened. What if I didn’t distance myself? What if I just sucked it up? What if I was just more open-minded? What if we had all continued to be friends after all that.

But I’ve had dreams these past few days. Dreams where I could move rather than just watching a film. Both of you were in it along with me. They all took place in a time when we had continued to be friends, where I didn’t cut all of you off. One where you, my dearest friend of a decade, had now openly shown your relationship with my ex, while I supported the both of you.
.
.
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I was violent.

Physically, emotionally and mentally to both of you.

In my dream, we still kept in contact, hung out, and went to places together. But if either of you had done the smallest of mistakes, ones not even warranting a punishment, I got violent. I knew I was doing it too, I knew what my actions were, and whenever I woke up I felt a tinge of disappointment knowing it was all a dream. That neither of you had felt the fraction of hurt you had given me.

I’m happy I cut all of you off, especially you two.

It would look bad in my record if I had a history of assault.