My boyfriend obsesses over things that don’t matter. He has insane anxiety and OCD, and truth be told I believe that he could be on the spectrum. I have asked him to go talk to someone qualified countless times. He has BENEFITS he could be using for this. He tried a free service through his doctor and after 2 cancelled appointments on their end, he was never contacted again.

I love him but he is running me into the ground.

Last night I sat alone for over 2 hours while he moaned about his video game. This is normal. FYI, he started losing it because some thumbnails didn’t show up. Then a revoked certificate on the games website triggered BitDefender. So as always, he was glued to his phone trying to “fix” it even after I asked him to put it down. He woke up miserable about it right away this morning like nothing matters but his motherfucking game.

God, don’t even get me started on the fit he had because there was some dog s*** on the lawn mower tire earlier that day. I had to go inside and get cleaning supplies and do it myself just to make him stop. He pitched in and apologized but I don’t even care.

He is constantly under the belief that he is being hacked, attacked or compromised or whatever. If it’s not the game it’s his PC. He obsesses over checking memory, CPU, temperature, etc. Something must be wrong all the f****** time. If his PC is fine he suddenly wants to delete FaceBook. If that’s all good there’s always work to complain about. Maybe he shouldn’t have said this, did whatever, someone was staring at him, someone said the wrong thing to him, nobody appreciates him, maybe he should just quit, etc.

All he talks about are work, games and his computer. I’m lucky if he even asks me how I’m doing or how my day was. Then he gets mad when I’m silent and have nothing to say. When I do talk he doesn’t listen to a damn thing that comes out of my mouth. When I get upset he yells about being busy, distracted, worried, etc.

I can’t go on like this. All I did yesterday was eat in a constant state of stress. I feel empty sometimes despite knowing how much I love him. I just can’t take it any more. My CPTSD, anxiety and depression don’t seem to matter because I hide them better than he does I guess.

If this was my friend writing this I’d tell her to just break up with him.