I feel like I’m in a bad boring movie that most people walked out of because of how dull it is. That’s how it feels to be one of these women that you hold onto knowing you are seriously smashing yourself on other girls but won’t let me go. Knowing something isn’t real is like drinking a weak watered down koolaide that you might as well drink water. At least when you’re drinking water it’s clear and you know, because it’s the expectation you had and yes that’s what it is, clear bland dull water. You’re dull because I see something exciting, but it has caused itself to get torn and tattered, old, worn down and used. You have covered the excitement up with some grey mud, moss, old garbage that is stuck on so hard it is now a part of you and who you are. You’ve let the whores mold themselves onto you in a permanent fashion. You only have to peel away these whores and unworthy women to get back a spark like you use to be, but you will not. You enjoy being this fake spark for them that lights up and quickly sizzles down into itself. You’re stuck in a grey existence with people who like to bash others, behave petty and generally are only good for lighting up like a light up button for the brief time that you’re with non-sensible, shabby shallow people to look up to you for that brief moment only. They will never offer anything to carry you on through your whole self and even into death, because they quickly die out like the buttons with cheap batteries only meant to last until you leave the store you found it in. It’s what you’re doing and why you’re grey and dull and your shinyness is now dulled down some. You also carry yourself at times around prude women who enjoy making and showing people how beneath them they are, ignoring the fact that others don’t even like them or to be around them really. Meanwhile I go on being myself and having fun with other men because they’ve done nothing but show me it’s me and those other tramps are not even worth mentioning in my shiny existence they choose not to dull with badly dirtied muck the way that you do, always.