I am 50 and never had a serious s***** romance other then 2 accounts of a ugly fat old man r*** me and a drunk 90 year old p*** bashing me and touching my c*** and a****** all the time from age 4 til I was about 14 when I got my periods. I hated it and felt so ugly and worthless like I was not good enough for the beautiful loving gentle young men closer to my age bracket. Tonight like so many I m********* as I am told no man finds me worth it and especially the ones I adore, which doesn’t really make sense unless you want to hurt and crush someones confidence with what ever bits would be left after assault humilations from smell old men. Its increasingly frustrating trying to o***** in my mothers bed next to her sleeping dying body cuz I can’t find anyone. The pain of not being able to just go freely with the s***** energy and pound the bed is so annoying in case I wake her. She annoys me her levels of controlling and s******* bullying and my dead beat dad much the same. Countless times they have ruined potential good relationship chances for me out of jealousy. I can’t for the life of me work out what I did so wrong to deserve this persecution. No one should have to go through this with my physical illness as well my life is already short end risk. I am tired of being attacked and kicked into over a nice young man I actually like from my heart. No one knows this pain unless you have lived it. There is a place in hell for the bad people who do this s*** on good Christian women.