here we are again, for a hundred million f****** times, my stubborn a** was again hitting by the fact that u really are an hetero. at first my dumbself might believe that u were falling as hard as i did, but after all these shits, i dont think i can hurt myself any longer man. every single time im trying to convinced myself for stop loving you, erase ur existencess off my life, and continuing my life without even thinking of how big and breathtaking ur smile is, but after all those bulshits i still caught myself getting back to you over again. im tired of myself who cannot just standing by what i was living for, wich mean, to unlove you. it s****, man, relizing of how deep this hole is, a hole that fullness of me, missing ur browny eyes who could just focused on me when i blurb out non stop. what kind of love is this, ya man? i kinda feel overwhelmed to controll my s*** while my whole gay body still want u and only u who stuck in this chapters of my life. i do not have any f***** idea how it will ends. i just wonna let it flow. letting myself drawned as deep as i cant even touch the air just for greeting you in 4am. i alr trying this far to let u go out of my sight, and i think i can do it. but still, how it will ends, i just dont want to overthinking it way too much cus, one thing that i surely could even let myself sold my soul is, we would be stranger. not for too long anymore tho, so, i think this must be my endgame and so my goodbye as one sided love. cus however, i still cant lose u in our friendship terms. i just wish i could say i love in a way i couldnt say it as a friends anymore, cus indeed being friends with u just make everything complicated even more. so i dont think i would wish to meet and being in any relationship with you, man. i just wish we never get to known eachother well in another universe, so i wouldnt fell hard like a f****** saturn to u, Amanda.