I’m struggling with money to the point I’m worried about food. My family doesn’t know. We are all very poor, but I’m slightly better off most of the time. Because of this, I’ve always given them everything I had, even if I have to go without. Recently, there have been a few surprise necessary expenses and I’ve covered them. I told my family that I had the money and it’s all fine, but I really didn’t. The last money I gave them was bill money. I’m in the hole bad and I have to decide what gets cut from the budget, and at the moment it’s mostly food, though I’ve gotten by with dumpsters and churches before so it’s not impossible. Honestly, one of the hardest parts is that I can’t tell them. I’m so hopelessly depressed and I can’t talk to my only lifeline. They wouldn’t accept the money if I did. My 15 year old niece needed gas money to go far out of town and see a specialist for major health issues. How could I tell her no? She works a job and does school already. Her 17 year old sister just had to get a second job while also doing school. They are doing all they can. She needs several appointments so I gave her $100 and told her to tell her mother that it was her money from work, because her mother wouldn’t accept it if she knew it was from me. She doesn’t like accepting money, but I guess I can’t blame her. In this family, taking money from each other is hard because we’ve never really had it to give.

Anyway, I guess my main point is that I don’t have money, but I’ve been lying and saying that I do. I won’t get any more money for another 3 weeks and even them it won’t be much, so I’m going to have to figure something out. I’m depressed, and I have no one to talk to. I feel so alone. Thank you for reading.