Every time I sat in church I spent the time looking at every woman one by one, fantasizing about them. Not young girls, that was never my thing. But otherwise no limit to which I would imagine in every possible s***** act. One day after service the minister asked me to stay behind and when one on one he called me out on it, told me one of the women had noticed and told him. He told me that I needed to control my lust or he would have to ask me to leave that church, but his problem with that was it meant I would probably just go do it somewhere else, and if he found out where I went he would tell them. I asked for his help sincerely and he said that such things are a waste of energy that needed distraction and new focus. I should have seen it coming. He told me that prayer for help and self control was the first step, and I was on my knees head bent and his hand on my head as he prayed for me. When I opened my eyes and raised my head, I was looking at his exposed c***. He simply looked down at me and told me to focus. I had no experience at this snd he held my head and guided me. When the tome camr he obscenely moaned that he forgave me as he held my head in place and fed me my absolution. I left feeling betrayed and ashamed, loathing myself for defiling myself this way. The next Sunday I asked to talk to him after service and he agreed, but once in his office with the door closed he turned to me and opened his pants. He told me that this was the only way to focus away from lusting after the women in the church. He told me that he was willing to bet that I had only thought of this, not women, all week. He was right, just with guilt and shame unable to not think of it. My lust had been sleeping all week. And I knelt again. Over the next few weeks he began to insert himself into my day to day life. Convinced me that this was working. He had told the woman that complained that he was taking me under his wing with guidance. He had me start working through the week as a church volunteer. He showed up at my apartment late at night a few times for more. After a couple of months after he zipped up, he handed me an offering envelope and told me that I was to put a key to my apartment in the offeratory plate. That night I woke in my bed to find him standing over me expecting his worship. This time he told me that he too suffered lust constantly and that I was helping him as well. It has been over a year, and he has told me that we are having a stalemate, neither of us truly progressing. That hebis going to expand our solution. And I am afraid I know exactly what he means.