You know Tara, even when I thought you were an asexual hiv positive booze and pill head with narcissistic personality disorder AND dissscoiative identity disorder, the prison combo, I still couldn’t stop loving you and wanting to help you. I drew boundless strength from my dedire to better myself and earn your forgiveness. aren’t I a f****** monster for being sick and pathetic and still being in love with you even though I can go get a date in 5 minutes if I reply wanted to. My bad. I like weird s**, I’ve done some s***** f****** stuff, and I have a loud mouth online so f*** my life, right? F*** you. I never claimed to be a saint, but you really made me want to get better. All I needed was you to acknowledge that. In my darkest days, at my most crazy I still held onto my love for you. I’m truly sorry I was such a burden. I won’t be anymore. Don’t f****** worry. I’ll do it the same day he died. That’s when I went off the deep end. Maybe he’ll be waiting for me.