If he actually leaves me, I WILL kill myself. If he abandons me after everything I’ve done for him, and after everything HE’S done TO me, I’ll know he never actually loved me, that he was just using me for money and a place to stay before leaving me to struggle and suffer by myself. I WILL make this s*** MESSY. I will stand at the edge of the coulee and tie my noose there. I will record as I slip it over my neck, slit my arms wrist to elbow, and then shoot myself in the face, with my back to the edge so that the rope will smack me against the rocks as hard as possible. I will ENSURE my death. And he will know HE did this.