I am tired.

I have no support network. No one that I feel that I can trust. People depend on me but I cannot depend on them.

I start my day and I’m already checked out. Get up, work, eat, work, go to bed, repeat. My weekends are spent staring at a computer screen, or making things that hold no value to me. Things that won’t be used. Pointless expression.

I’m so tired of it all. I can’t check out because people need me. People I thought I could trust, can’t be trusted. All I have is the daily grind and making sure that those who depend on me are supported as they need to be. Every day is stress. Every day is hearing how people I care about hurt, how having me in their life hurts them, but they won’t step away even though it’s what I think they need.

I am trapped. I cannot do this alone anymore but I have to. I have no escape. Only the grind.