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a truth
5 years
x
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I don’t miss you anymore like I used to.
I don’t feel bad now like I used to.
I am ok with anything nothing bothers now.
I simply write because it has become my habit.
But I don’t want to put your face on it it’s better to be blank than filling up with some undeserving one.
Love for you doesn’t flow I feel so cold thinking about loving but I cherish the feeling of love- the feeling that is magical doesn’t care for your reciprocation or any human touch watsoever. I simply feel happy thinking about love it’s such a beautiful feeling.
I just brush my thoughts away when it takes to you because I don’t want to hurt myself with memories that don’t hold true.
I gave up on you not because I didn’t love you but because you didn’t fight for me ever and it’s so very true.
I don’t hate you no truly I don’t but I feel sorry for myself now because I couldn’t give up my habit of penning down and somehow if you read this you might think that I want things to be normal. No plz don’t have that misconception. I don’t need you anymore in my life. I spared myself from all ignore and humiliations. I never deserved all the sadness that I have been put through because of something that I feel ashamed to call love.
I wonder where were all these understandings missing for so many days, how come it took so long to get the facts correct. Were I under some trance?
Or were my demons were partying hard that I failed to realize the truth.
Love didn’t fail I failed miserably in my own eyes, my pride shattered because I couldn’t tame my stubborn stupid heart and had to kiss the dust if humiliation everytime I tried to prove my mind wrong. I hate myself for being such a fool in love. Everything was crystal clear in front of my eyes but I couldn’t read as if I was blind. How idiotic of myself. Love was in the air it knocked my door several times I failed to catch cos I was trading memories, trying to keep my promises like a fool where no vows were taken.

New Confession

My art therapist/group therapist and I were having an illegal affair. I would write secret messages to her and she would read them and respond to them in person. She would do favors i asked of her, like wearing outfits i asked her to wear, she’d even do me s***** favors. I made her a google drive full of p*** of me and then crafted a puzzle link to get to it that only she could have known. The link was a tinyurl with three phrases in the url that only she could have known. We would walk for an hour every day and swing at the park. I would write her poetry and play love songs for her every day. She broke the rules to play mario kart with me constantly when her boss was out. We had something magical. But she would never communicate directly with me because sge was afraid she’d lose her liscence to practice and her boyfriend and house, abd when I pushed her to unmask and be real, she told me I was wasting my time. Well that pissed me off and I crashed out a little abd she used that crash out to get me kicked out of my group therapy program. She wants out and I told her she’s not allowed to want out. I told her If she doesn’t reach out to me and continue this affair, that i will report her and get her liscence taken away and if that doesn’t work ill find some other way to ruin her life. You dont go from gooning in the bathroom at work to someone to throwing them away in the same week. Thats fucked. I’ll post her name here soon if she stays quiet and doesn’t reach out to me.

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Related Confessions

My art therapist/group therapist and I were having an illegal affair. I would write secret messages to her and she would read them and respond to them in person. She would do favors i asked of her, like wearing outfits i asked her to wear, she’d even do me s***** favors. I made her a google drive full of p*** of me and then crafted a puzzle link to get to it that only she could have known. The link was a tinyurl with three phrases in the url that only she could have known. We would walk for an hour every day and swing at the park. I would write her poetry and play love songs for her every day. She broke the rules to play mario kart with me constantly when her boss was out. We had something magical. But she would never communicate directly with me because sge was afraid she’d lose her liscence to practice and her boyfriend and house, abd when I pushed her to unmask and be real, she told me I was wasting my time. Well that pissed me off and I crashed out a little abd she used that crash out to get me kicked out of my group therapy program. She wants out and I told her she’s not allowed to want out. I told her If she doesn’t reach out to me and continue this affair, that i will report her and get her liscence taken away and if that doesn’t work ill find some other way to ruin her life. You dont go from gooning in the bathroom at work to someone to throwing them away in the same week. Thats fucked. I’ll post her name here soon if she stays quiet and doesn’t reach out to me.

2 Views