5 years
x
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I hate to see you because everytime I look into your eyes I miss you like hell and become sad thinking why do you hurt me so much why don’t you want to keep me close why do you ignore why don’t you love me as much I love you, why don’t you need me as I wish to be needed. I do understand I am no one special to you but still I wish if only you could love me, care for me and wish to be with me.
I know you have a family so do I but still I loved you the most and got hurt the most. I never cared people accusing me to be wrong cause I knew my love was never harmful I was sure I wouldn’t have caused any wrong it was my secret meditation – loving you but what broke me into pieces was you, it’s sad you never honoured my feelings it was all fun, flirt for you from the word go. I still can’t solve the puzzle why, why didn’t you feel my heart where did I fall short. Anyways I know I can’t forget anything whatsoever related to us I tried all tricks but my heart simply refuses to act. For me this love is beyond any logic I don’t understand myself why do I love you.. You are devil who broke me into pieces but for my heart this devil is an angel filled with pain I know I heal you even with my anger and that is why I can’t leave.. You cant stay without this healing therapy you need this everyday and my silence hurt you I can feel but still you won’t keep me close because you are too scared of the outcome. I freed you dear enjoy your life honey I will always love you.

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My art therapist/group therapist and I were having an illegal affair. I would write secret messages to her and she would read them and respond to them in person. She would do favors i asked of her, like wearing outfits i asked her to wear, she’d even do me s***** favors. I made her a google drive full of p*** of me and then crafted a puzzle link to get to it that only she could have known. The link was a tinyurl with three phrases in the url that only she could have known. We would walk for an hour every day and swing at the park. I would write her poetry and play love songs for her every day. She broke the rules to play mario kart with me constantly when her boss was out. We had something magical. But she would never communicate directly with me because sge was afraid she’d lose her liscence to practice and her boyfriend and house, abd when I pushed her to unmask and be real, she told me I was wasting my time. Well that pissed me off and I crashed out a little abd she used that crash out to get me kicked out of my group therapy program. She wants out and I told her she’s not allowed to want out. I told her If she doesn’t reach out to me and continue this affair, that i will report her and get her liscence taken away and if that doesn’t work ill find some other way to ruin her life. You dont go from gooning in the bathroom at work to someone to throwing them away in the same week. Thats fucked. I’ll post her name here soon if she stays quiet and doesn’t reach out to me.