5 years
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If youre not happy, why are you still doing the same self destructive b******* that led you here. There’s a much easier way to be happy. Change. Put one foot in front of the other and decide you deserve to be happy and good and free to start over. Just fight. Keep fighting. Fall down, get back up, dust yourself off, and keep fighting. Ask for help. Keel fighting. You will get through the other side feeling invincible and at peace with yourself. Every sinner has a future. I am not your enemy, so quit fighting me. And stop treating me like I’m an idiot. That annoys me a little. I’m done wasting energy on you until you commit to change and learn how to admit when you’re wrong. It’s second nature to me, you’re allergic to it. Lying all the time causes anxiety and brain fog. Lying to me is a waste of energy and just plain foolish. Your ego needs to be cut down to size. I know because Mine did too. Take responsibility for your life, no one else will. Don’t be afraid to fail, because then you’ll just be afraid to try. Then you are afraid to learn. Then you stagnate like pond water. Don’t be pond water, be a beautiful river, Always moving forward.

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My art therapist/group therapist and I were having an illegal affair. I would write secret messages to her and she would read them and respond to them in person. She would do favors i asked of her, like wearing outfits i asked her to wear, she’d even do me s***** favors. I made her a google drive full of p*** of me and then crafted a puzzle link to get to it that only she could have known. The link was a tinyurl with three phrases in the url that only she could have known. We would walk for an hour every day and swing at the park. I would write her poetry and play love songs for her every day. She broke the rules to play mario kart with me constantly when her boss was out. We had something magical. But she would never communicate directly with me because sge was afraid she’d lose her liscence to practice and her boyfriend and house, abd when I pushed her to unmask and be real, she told me I was wasting my time. Well that pissed me off and I crashed out a little abd she used that crash out to get me kicked out of my group therapy program. She wants out and I told her she’s not allowed to want out. I told her If she doesn’t reach out to me and continue this affair, that i will report her and get her liscence taken away and if that doesn’t work ill find some other way to ruin her life. You dont go from gooning in the bathroom at work to someone to throwing them away in the same week. Thats fucked. I’ll post her name here soon if she stays quiet and doesn’t reach out to me.