All this time i thought i knew who i was, but i was blinded by my own brain and you. I thought if try i harder you would love me but you liked the way i loved you. i Continued trying, continued living this life that this neighborhood provided. But each day that passes away from you i start to realise all the illusion i had around me. I am never going back to you, and i made sure for you to think that i betrayed you, i knew you. I used to feel pain thinking about this but i now i begin to understand sth more crucial. My grandmother used to help other people to the point that killed her, my mother walked not exactly the same but still a hard road, my father thinking that everything will go alright in the end tried to do his best but never achieving enough, my brother lost in his own world. Everyone shared a common trait they are and some were affected heavily by other people opinions and expectations. That’s what ruined being good being kind and while i value those, i realised that all those years of suffering changed me they made me numb.My safe place is no more, my day dreaming is no more. I’ve killed my old self,what’s there to take its place. who knows?