I keep trying to find a reason as to how someone could hate me so constantly for decades. Now I carry a gun. I don’t like having it but every time I go out on my own people from my past do illegal things to me. I am not making their cruelty up. It’s because of my mom that I don’t know how to handle things. Shooting someone would make things easier however unfortunate it maybe. Scars on someone else would minimize my own and I am tired of cruel and unusual “punishment”.