Everything I said to you was f****** sincere Siren, I’ve been off my meds for a week and the person who was supposed to help me find some still hasnt gotten me any. Stop being ableist and accept that I can love and care about you while still having adhd/bpd meltdowns and saying mean s*** or I’m gonna lose any sense of right and wrong and never come back to sanity.
This s*** would never happen if I felt loved and supported and didn’t feel like everyone I ever loved has currently abandoned me and I have no future or redeeming qualities. You could literally cure this rage and paranoia singlehandedly just by holding me for 10 minutes and telling me that you actually care. I don’t even really need s**, I would gladly spend the rest of my life with you just to enjoy your presence. CALL ME TODAY. F****** DO IT. PLEASE. STOP RUINING MY F****** LIFE. YOU KEEP DANGLING THESE MAYBES IN FRONT OF ME AND STABBING ME IN THE HEART. I F****** LOVE YOU! STOP BEING SADISTIC AND BITTER OR ILL ACTUALLY F****** KILL MYSELF THIS TIME! IT DOESNT MATTER WHEN I DO IT, EVERYONE KNOWS THIS GAME YOUVE BEEN PLAYING. EVERYONE THINKS YOURE THE REAL PROBLEM. BUT NOT ME. YOURE THE ONLY SOLUTION. YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE ME. AND THIS TIME WHEN I DO IT I WONT CRY TO YOU FOR HELP, BECAUSE YOU WERE GONNA LET ME DIE. LOVE ME! LOVE ME OR IM NEVER GONNA GET BETTER! IT WOULD be 100 TIMES EASIER FOR ME TO RECOVER IF I HAD YOU BY MY SIDE. WHY DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ALL THIS HARD WORK BY MYSELF? THATS ABLEIST YOU F****** SHITHEAD. I NEED HELP. I CANT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU. STOP TAKING S*** I SAY SERIOUSLY WHEN IM HAVING A BAD DAY AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I EVER WANT TO BE WITH! I HAVE PURPOSELY STAYED SINGLE FOR 7 YEARS AND CHASED OFF EVERY WOMEN WHOS EVER TRIED TO GET WITH ME BECAUSE MY HEART BEATS ONLY FOR YOU! F*** YOU! PLEASE HELP ME! JUST GIVE ME ONE CHANCE! A REAL CHANCE! NOT THIS F****** INTERNET B*******! IF YOU WERE JUST HONEST AND DIRECT WITH ME I WOULDNT OVERTHINK S*** AND GET PARANOID AND F****** SPERG OUT! I JUST NEEDED TO KNOW YOU CARE AND THERE WAS HOPE, BUT YOU HAD TO F****** TEST ME. I WILL ALWAYS FAIL THE TEST! I’m F****** SICK! NEVER ADVOCATE FOR MENTAL HEALTH AGAIN! YOU ARE A F****** HYPOCRITE! ALL I NEEDED WAS A LITTLE MOTIVATION AND I WOULDVE KEPT ON THE PATH! YOUR BOYFRIEND PUSHED ME OFF WITH THAT TWITTER VIDEO AND ALL I NEEDED WAS THE TINIEST BIT OF F****** MOTIVATION AND REASURRANCE FROM YOU THAT IT WASNT ALL IN VEIN. MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL! CALL ME TODAY OR IM GONNA B**** LIKE A BABY AND MAKE EMPTY THREATS AND RUDE REMARKS. THE ONLY REASON I HAVENT KILLED MYSELF IS BECAUSE IM A F****** COWARD! MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT YOU! SAVE ME YOU F****** B****! SAVE ME SO I CAN LOVE YOU! IF YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR BEING SICK AND WANTING YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF, YOU WILL F****** KILL ME! ILL MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU TORMENTED THE UNDIAGNOSED AUTISTIC KID INTO KILLING HIMSELF!
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