As much as I love my mother, she drives me crazy. I’m only 17 and have had divorced parents for almost 9 years now (will be 10 in Feb, just 2 months before my 18th bday) but anytime I’m here at her house now I just can’t be myself. She makes me feel like I’m just like my father but all the negative things. Like his anger issues, substance abuse history with alcohol, and how he wasn’t good with relationships. Sometimes I wonder if they found out they never loved each other. My mom married my stepdad less than a year after the divorce and my dad didn’t remarry until 3 years ago as of this past October 20th, 2021. I’m not the smartest, I know that. I’m not from a perfect family, and I’m not a perfect kid… I’m addicted to nicotine and alcohol before I’m even 18, I’m turning into my parents. I’m fucked up, bad. I haven’t had the best life and my mother seems to remind me of that. It scares me, to be honest with y’all. Now I’m doing my best to graduate this coming May, go to BMT for air national guard, and try to move out by 19. I turn 18 on April 3rd of 2022, I want to be free, I graduate on May 15th, so I’ll be going to training right after I graduate. I hopefully will enlist next month (December ’21) and start this crazy journey. But I hope that my mom starts to relax. Because she has seen how I no longer am interested in high school, it has done nothing but make me feel like s***. Hopefully no one can piece who I am by this. I love you all <3
