I was human once, but I got carried away. I had to lose almost everything in order to finally wake up. When faced with the truth of my sins, I wanted to die. These stains on my soul are here to stay. Some bridges once burnt can never be repaired. The emptiness of those cherised few who left me behind will serve as a constant painful reminders of what happens when I give up control and lose myself to the madness. There is no one to blame but myself. 10/21/21. Double blackjack day. I will never forget.