I used to have this friend named Crotch Hairy who would go to the local department store and autograph baseballs right there on the shelf. He didn't even

5 years

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I used to have this friend named Crotch Hairy who would go to the local department store and autograph baseballs right there on the shelf.

He didn’t even PLAY baseball, he was just a dipshit.

Imagine some lucky kid just grabbing a baseball off the shelf, and getting home to find that he had a ball pre-autographed by Crotch Hairy.

New Confession

SCP #4
Pumpkill King of the pumpkins.
This is not a Halloween Jacko lantern, instead something straight from a nightmare in the deepest pits of hell. It feeds on souls of humans that carve pumpkins, and chews on entire families like candy.
It is said that every time it eats another soul, another pumpkin seed is planted, if Pumpkil is crushed it’s mind is moved over to the next pumpkin making it unkillable.
Pumpkil is powered by dark magic, and a black flame inside of its core burning since the night it was lit in the early 1200s.

SCP #4
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