He gave me the prettier teddy bear. WTF!?! YOU ARE WITH A DUDE, THAT’S SCREWING ANOTHER WOMAN BUT ITS OK BECAUSE HE GAVE YOU THE PRETTIEST TEDDY BEAR?!? I really can’t imagine being one of those people that are terrified of being alone,for any length of time. A TEDDY BEAR!!!

I’m going to start buying teddy bears in bulk and when I screw someone over, I’ll be like here, have a teddy bear, no hard feelings. We good? If only I had known it was that easy, I would have been the devil incarnate a long time ago.