I don’t know what the f*** I’m going to to when we go to uni still liking each other but probably not going out. I won’t want to move on, I’m just gonna want to hold onto what we have for as long as possible. Then suppose I meet someone I kind of like, and begin to feel alright about it again… and then suddenly we’re back home for the holidays and I see you again and it all comes flooding straight back. It’s gonna be like living two lives and I haven’t a f****** clue how to do it. If you meet someone you like and, dare I say it, start going out with her, I’m going to find it impossibly hard to come to terms with. And fair enough you might say the same for me, but that you’ll eventually come round and we’ll still be friends blah blah. The trouble is, I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want you to be ok with it. I don’t want you to accept that I might find someone else. I want you to not settle for anything other than being with me. I don’t want to forget what we have and move on without even trying to actually make something of it. You know how much I like you, and I’m pretty sure I know how much you like me. I’m avoiding the word love for some reason but to be honest I think that’s what it is. If it’s not, then I don’t know what is. I’m afraid of letting it disappear. I don’t want anyone else.
