I’m a young lesbian, and a confident one at that, always fighting to keep a spring in my step, trying my hardest to be a support system for everyone around me. I keep my mind open, and work to make everyone in my life feel significant in this large world we live in. I’m naive, yet I have my maturity. Deep down, I think I have a good, well rounded personality, with plentiful flaws I constantly work towards adapting and changing. I’m usually very sure of my self, but there is one thing that is more of a burden than a boon nowadays. I am hopelessly attracted to older women. I am currently underage, and it’s rather bothersome- yet I can’t help but find myself falling for the most beautiful, incredible women inside and out, who just so happen to be in their 40s or 50s. I’m constantly fighting the idea that I’m a societal freak, even though I’d never for a second think of breaking the law, and usually keep my distance from those I find attractive. Finding solace in my attraction is very hard when I’m constantly bombarded with rhetorical, sarcastic questions and insults. For the first time in my life, at least in awhile, I’m afraid to be open about who I really am. It’s been really lonely. I feel so alone and insecure. This is the worst I’ve felt in so long.
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It’s fine. We all have weak spots, it doesn’t make you any worse. Nothing wrong about being attracted to older women, and being underage? You know it’s just a temporary condition, anyways!
I guess the problem is that you can’t control the situation, and you’re used to being able to do that. Try not to get stuck on feeling alone and insecure. Think of what little things you can do to feel better. Keeping your distance is a good idea, but you don’t have to make it too strict for yourself. It’s okay to tell someone that you like them in a friendly way, that you find them beautiful and incredible.
Here, I think you’re incredible, and I think you should know it. 😉
Thank you so much, kind stranger. You don’t know how nice it is to hear that. It’s hard, as I’ve kept my “secret” away from everyone- and I mean EVERYONE. Last time I talked about it, everyone left me because we’re dumb judgmental teenagers. I can already see my bright future ahead of me in the arms of a wonderful, incredible woman- I just have to make it to 18!